The “D” Word

The “D” Word

Typically, when you hear the word “delayed”, you think frustration, inconvenience, annoyance. A flight that’s hours behind schedule. A package that didn’t arrive in time. A lunch date that never came to be.

But when you’re a parent, and that word is used in context of your baby, you can’t think. Because a kid, well, being in charge of a whole entire kid is a lot more pressure than missing a meeting or deadline along the way. Your kid is your everything. And you just want them to be ok.

I get that now. First hand. Because Pink is officially the D word. Delayed. It’s one of those things you know as a parent—in your gut. But you shrug it off, you let everyone convince you that there’s a wide range of “normal” (because, of course, there is). Then somewhere along the line, people (the kind with degrees on the wall) start agreeing that maybe your baby needs a little extra help. Gulp.

It started about six months ago. Pink never really learned to roll over. She screams through tummy time and immediate falls out of crawling position if you force her into it…refuses to plant her feet when you attempt to put her into standing position most of the time. She’s one stubborn girl and she knows what she doesn’t want. She’s also smart. She’s figured out a work around. She scoots everywhere on her butt. It’s hilarious, fast and efficient. But she’s stuck. She hasn’t developed the muscles or coordination required to pull herself up, to stand or to walk. Pink has a gross motor delay.

The good news about the word delay is that there’s hope. Before this, I would never have associated the word hope with delay. But there is hope. Delay. She’ll get there eventually. She just needs a little extra help along the way. And you can be sure I’ll get it for her.

So what now? (Besides physical therapy for the unforeseeable future, of course.) I’m going to embrace my baby. Because that’s the beauty of a delay. (Again, beauty and delay, a funny combination.) I get to hold on to my baby—this itty bitty, magically disappearing baby stage—a little bit longer. While other double-digit monthers are running away from their moms, mine will still be in my arms (which just may be a bit more shapely at the end of all of this!). For just a little bit longer.

But I’ll do my job as a mom. I’ll do whatever I can to help push her, to build her confidence and strength. To make up for whatever I’ve done to hold her back along the way. And before I know it, the struggle, the fear, the D word—they’ll all be a distant memory. Right along with the B word. Baby.

 

This post is sponsored by Disney Baby. I’ll be joining the Disney Baby blogging team next month, and look forward to sharing these kinds of stories (projects/ideas/etc) with you over there! Stay tuned for more details!

 

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Comments

  1. Amy, as always, your writing is so beautiful. You’re an amazing mom and I have no doubt that you will do whatever it takes to help your precious Pink. And, your arms will look awesome :)

  2. when a bunch of us at work were worried about whether or not our kids were ever going to master some milestone someone else’s kid had already mastered, our former very wise boss used to say, “They’re not going to go to college not knowing their ABCs….” or “… knowing how to ride their bikes….” or “… knowing how to eat with a fork……” …. So true, really… (although the fork thing, I’m not so sure about..)

    and as for the butt scoot – apparently my mother did it… my sister did it…. and my niece did it…. they’re all doing pretty well for themselves so far ;)

    keep holding that wee one of yours and love it for the rest of us without super wee ones to snuggle :)
    xoxo

  3. Such a beautiful post Amy. And kudos to you for not being a mom who chooses to play the ostrich. You’ll be amazed at how even a tiny bit of OT can make a huge difference. Soon she’ll be running circles around you. ;-)

  4. Kris young says:

    Hi Amy, I love your perspective! As moms, I think we will always worry about our kids, but they do progress. My two oldest guys had motor delays and therapy and maturation makes a world of difference. You may want to look into the Regional Center in your county to have pink evaluated and to receive therapy. Often times the therapists will come to your home and the services provided are paid for by state funding. In addition to physical therapy, you may want to look into occupational therapy. Please email me if you have questions. Enjoy your baby girl and try not to worry! Kris : )

  5. Wyatt never moved anywhere at all until he was over a year old (we could plop him down anywhere and he’d sit there for hours not getting into trouble–unfortunately I didn’t know well enough to appreciate that :)). He eventually started “cruising” on the furniture and later crawled for maybe 2 weeks before he finally started walking at 16 months. They all do it in their own good time! I know your little princess will be just fine and soon enough you’ll barely remember that there was any “issue”. And definitely, as you are doing, take that opportunity to enjoy your “baby” for just a little bit longer–they grow up SO quickly!! XOXO

  6. Sweet post. That last line…

  7. Hey Amy! Our Camryn did the same butt scoot and refusal to crawl, pull up or stand. She didn’t walk until 18 months and I enjoyed my baby being a baby that much longer. Our ped never recommended any extra help for her though. She was a little slower to develop other physical skills too. At age 2 and 3 I still noticed her hesitating and holding back on play structures and jumpy houses because she was unsure of her strength and coordination. But now at 4 she seems to have caught up.

    Oh also she spoke early and had a huge vocabulary super early! People were shocked when they heard my little thing talking in complete sentences so young.

    Hope you guys are well! Enjoy that sweet pink girl!

    • Thanks Monica. Our pediatrician thought it would be good to give her a bit more confidence since she’s so frustrated and tentative. Just a few little tricks I learned at the assessment are already helping us help her. Both doctors felt it was simply a delay and not a sign of a bigger problem, so that’s a huge relief. Hopefully Pink will be chasing after Camryn when they finally meet! (Or at least they’ll enjoy a great chat. Pink is very chatty too, though her vocab is limited to hi, baby, ball and mine thus far!)

Trackbacks

  1. [...] that’s me. Sort of. I’ve been taking Pink to physical therapy for a couple months now (for her gross motor delay) and it’s pure torture. Sitting on the mats playing games with the therapists (as they gently [...]

  2. […] She called ahead to her brothers clearly, and with purpose. We’ve been working so hard to develop her strength — going to therapies, working on endurance, and building confidence — that I somehow […]

  3. […] hard time too. She was adjusting to the new group therapy that had been prescribed to help with her gross motor delay, and was having trouble keeping up with other kids her own age and beyond. Separation was equally […]

  4. […] person. He doesn’t use social media. So, when I’m writing about topics that seem especially personal for our children, I ask him first. He’s always been game, but I think it’s important that both […]

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