I’ve never been a fashion maven. I wore Jordache zipper jeans, not Guess. I thought Gap was high fashion until I went to college with L.A. trend setters. And even now I’d choose flip flops over Manolos (did I even spell/say that right?) any day of the week. Don’t get me wrong, I try to buy (reasonably) fashionable clothes and even dress up now and then for work. But, I’m finding that motherhood is working against me. (No, I’m not talking about baby weight or wrinkles. That’s another post.)
Here’s what I mean… The other day, as I was heading out the door, Little got so excited about saying goodbye that when he waved his hands in the air, a pad of butter from his toast landed in the middle of my shirt. Within minutes, Big decided he was extra sad and needed an extra hug which resulted in extra stripes on my solid black pants and sweater. Good look, right?
For me it’s not high-waisted jeans (which may be back in, for all I know) that scream “mom” when I head out into the world. It’s the Aquaphor stains, dried crumb grub, booger streaks, spit-up stains and drool marks. And while I try to wear each of these (and random stickers that show up along the way) as a badge of pride—after all, I certainly do love those cuddles and kisses—I’m pretty sure I’m not pulling it off.
I can’t be the only one who feels this way, so why hasn’t some designer solved these problems? Here’s are some things I think are “musts” for a mom’s wardrobe.
1) Danger zone coverage- There’s nothing like the marks left behind after holding my sweet little guy on my hip and having him rub his face all over my shoulder. Considering how uptight I am (and my kids are—surprise, surprise) about wiping faces, I can only imagine that other moms have it far worse. The solve? Removable (external) shoulder pads made of absorbent, diaper-cloth-like material. (Come to think of it, a removable butt pad might be nice too for sitting on wet grass and dirty slides…)
2) Underwear anchor- Uppies, downies, shoe-tie squat, sandbox sit—these everyday maneuvers combined with low(ish)-rise pants make me look more like a plumber than a mom. The solve? Underwear that snap into place and move right along with you.
3) Sporty heels- No matter how my day begins, it almost always ends with baseball/soccer/football on the front lawn. How great would it be if I could hop out of the car after work, flick a switch and have my sleek boots turn into sporty cleats? There’s already one spike to begin with, how hard could it be to add a few more?
4) Slimming workout clothes- Sure, you may spot me wearing yoga pants and running shoes, but I can’t won’t tell you the last time I actually needed either one. The least these sporty companies could do is partner with Spanx to make it look more like I actually exercise. (I know, I know, I really should…yadda, yadda, yadda…)
5) Clean jeans- Who needs five pockets when you’ve got a 30-pound diaper bag? One pocket should be a refillable Kleenex/wipe slot, so you always have one handy. (Kinda like kids always seem to have a finger or sleeve handy.)
6) Pre-outing pancho- Most of the time when I’m heading out, I wait until I’m leaving to throw on my “nice” shirt. Still, there are few days I make it into the car streak free. I’m thinking a variation on the Snuggie might be the solve. Same coverage, just a bit less material.
I know, a mom can dream. But until my dreams come true, I’ll turn to my inspired friends like J. Crew and J.J. (who gives truly wonderful/practical mom fashion tips at Unfrump My Mom). And I promise to ignore your snot stains if you’ll ignore mine.
So, moms, any fashion tips or wardrobe wishes you’d like to share? Pretty (yes, pun intended) please!
I actually find my kids to be the perfect excuse when I’m on the way to work and I realize that what I put back into my closet a week ago to wear again was already dirty…. um gross and oops. So I rationalize that people will just think it was done that morning by my kids 😉
Granted, if you really think about it… the fact that it got dirty then AND the fact that I was too tired to realize/remember that it was dirty and to put it in the hamper and not back into the closet is likely due to the kiddos… but whatever…
I’ll still chalk it up to the practical benefits of having kids and file it in between, “Oh, sorry, we have to leave early – it’s the kids…” AND getting to watch animated movies on opening day “because the kids really wanted to see it!”
Jodie, I think you’ve inspired another entirely new post…love it!
I can’t tell you how many times I have used that train of thought!!! Now that I am “out” about this one, Amy, you can’t look at me funny when I see you up the street!
Having people look at me funny is an occupational hazard, I’m afraid. I, on the other hand, cherish knowing I’m not the only one and will look at you with thanks and admiration!
Great post! I laughed all the way through it. Can totally relate 🙂
That makes me feel so much better since you’re one of the very fashionable moms I know. Thanks!
Love this… and SO true! Because I don’t work (outside the home at least) I don’t really have a reason to wear “nice” clothes anymore but wearing sweatpants every day is almost like giving up so I really try and make it look like I thought about what I was wearing. And because I often wear my outfit two days in a row (ssshh, don’t tell anyone) just so I have to think about one less thing, I try and make sure that the snot marks on the shoulders of my new “fancy” sweater, mud on the hips of my new skinny jeans and greasy fingerprints just blend right in!
Oh Aimee, you do work. But I know what you’re saying…On my work-from-home days and days off, it takes extra effort to spice up my look. And I’m a huge fan of the re-wear (which is why I’m grateful I don’t see people from work at church on Sunday). I’ve never noticed any unwanted accessories on your outfits and you always look wonderful, so here’s to you!!
“Underwear Anchor”–love that idea!!! Ironically, my post that just went up on Shine tonight? Mom Chic. My suggestion is to add on savvy item to your wardrobe each day.
What I didn’t include in the post, and probably should have, is that that one item can be as simple as a pair of CZ studs or a pearl necklace. WITH your sweats.
But, really? Its all about how you present yourself. Which, really, is all about confidence. And you’re certainly a confident person!
Too funny. I’ll look forward to reading your post as well…goodness knows I could use a few pointers. Thanks for the ideas…and the kind words!