Back—by unpopular demand—my reflections on the week past. I thought maybe I’d stop this weekly post in 2011 because I didn’t get a lot of comments, but I realized I really enjoy writing these. Things have been a bit hectic around our house lately and this is a way for me to laugh at myself and the crazy moments that come with parenthood. I hope you’ll join me…
Lesson #1: When Lenny took our decorative hurricane vase of wine corks into the playroom and started counting and sorting games with Big, I thought it was brilliant. That is until I realized the little guy can’t count much past 100 (though arguably he made improvements this week) and we (amazingly, horrifyingly) had over 300 corks in there. (Oh, and did I mention we stopped throwing them in long, long ago because it was too full?) I can only imagine what the teachers will say when Big tells them he couldn’t believe his parents had so many Menage a Trois in the dining room.
Lesson #2: When you show up at the grocery store with two energetic little boys and a big belly, you get a lot of looks. Some nice, some not-so-nice. When one of those little boys decides to sing “Clap Your Hands” through the store at full volume—you know, the one who’s learning to talk, so it sounds like he’s yelling “Crappy Hams!”—the scales tip in the not-so-nice direction. (Better than the reactions at my parents’ grocery store this week where he cried at the top of his lungs the whole time, but not much.)
Lesson #3: Just because a 2-year old shows interest in potty training, doesn’t mean that 2-year old is ready to be potty trained. A good test: When you’re giving the pep talk and say, “So, when you need to go potty, do you go in your underpants?” The answer should not be a confident, definitive, “YES!” And, if it is, avoid lively dance parties on the living room carpet. Hypothetically, of course, because who would be dumb enough to do that?
Lesson #4: If you can’t find your kid’s little yellow immunization card (you know, the night before kindergarten registration), do not spend 3 hours tearing your house apart to find it. Just call the doctor and ask for a copy. (Who knew?) But, if you do lose your mind and ransack the house, start with the old diaper bag. You won’t find your sanity, but you might just find some cash in those little pockets (like $80!).
Lesson #5: Just because your kid can throw an unbelievable spiral doesn’t mean he’s ready for football. But he’s definitely a couple steps closer when his head has broken one parent’s nose as well as cracked and chipped the other parent’s teeth—and he’s come out of both incidents completely fine (well, physically, at least).
Here’s to a week overflowing with reasons to clap and dance as you uncover great surprises and noteworthy talents!
Photo from Flickr by bibendumwinestest.
Hahaha.. I loved the ones with the wine corks and the potty training and the immunization card! Keep ’em coming…
Thanks so much, Vrushali. Hope all is well with you!
Hahaha.. I loved the ones with the wine corks and the potty training and the immunization card! Keep ’em coming… And you are so right about singing in the store… my daughter too started singing out loud at Safeway the other day and kept saying Mommy.. Mommy ? as if wondering why I am not joining her while I pretended to be engrossed in analyzing the wholeness of wheat bread 😉
love #1! too funny! I think that yellow immunization card was lost the minute I brought the kids home from the hospital, maybe even before …
Yes, apparently I’m the only woman on earth who tied my mothering skills to my loss of the darn yellow card. The receptionist said, “Who even keeps those anymore?” Would have been nice to know that when I almost lost my mind (and a lot of tears) trying to find it!
I just learned that even though i thought it was months away, *I* need to get my kindergarten “proof of purchase” documents in gear for enrollment – YOWZA!
Although this doesn’t necessarily solve my before/after school care issues with an impacted on-site daycare program.
Thanks for the reminder! I think I’ll call my ped’s office right now to get that immunization list 😉
Amy, I got so many funny looks and funny comments being the mother of 6. You can just imagine. My morality, concern for the planet, concern for human beings in general, the environment, landfills, etc. was all questioned… whatever.
Speaking of “crappy hams” being yelled in the grocery store. I have a funny story to tell. When Mike was little we used to go to a restaurant in San Ramon (that shall remain nameless) for dinner. He was about 15-22 months old and speaking fairly well. We went often. Yes, we should have stayed home, but I had to get out. You understand. Anyway, Mike was obsessed with Peter Pan and Captain Hook, mostly Captain Hook. All day he would walk around the house with a fork in hand and a long sleeved shirt and pull the shirt down to the fork and pretend it was a Hook! Oh, how he wanted a hook hand. He talked about it obsessively. So, when we took him along with big serious brother and perfect school aged daughter, to dinner at this restaurant (and others) the restaurant typically had the silverware wrapped in a napkin on the table when we were seated. He would, very loudly, in a clear stage voice, yell “F..k, f..k, f..k (because that was how he said fork at the time…just a baby afterall) until we quickly unwrapped the utinsels and put a fork in his hand. It was a race. We were embarrased at first. Then we thought it was pretty funny. But we still were in a big hurry to put that fork in his hand because we figured some patrons probably thought it wasn’t so funny. We even grabbed utinsels off of other tables if we needed to. So, “Crappy Hams” isn’t so bad afterall. It’s all pretty entertaining and we still tell that story and our guy is now 22 years old.
I’m laughing hysterically remembering Mike’s obsession with Peter Pan. I can just imagine you all in a restaurant setting fumbling for a fork. Our family still laughs about the time he “felled the goodies”. (But I promise not to embarrass the 22-year old with that story!)
I couldn’t sleep tonight so I spent some time catching up on your blogs, Amy. You really are full of humor and inspiration in your mothering and your writing. Thank you for filling me up with good memories, great quotes and a happy heart as I return to bed.