While nobody rolled out a red carpet for me this week (unless you count the dried cranberries Little spilled all over the living room), I figured I’d give a written acceptance speech. What am I accepting? The fact that being a big ol’ bellied lady with two dramatic little boys and a celebrity trash lovin’ husband can be pretty entertaining. (Heck, it better be since the only movies I saw this year were Toy Story 3 and Tangled.) So here goes (please imagine I’m wearing make up and a glamorous “Do” dress for someone who needs an extra-wide-angle camera)…
Lesson #1: A professional house cleaner is no match for two boys stuck in the house during a cold, rainy week. Within a couple of hours, it looked like the storm had hit inside instead of outside. (And it will continue to look that way until she comes again in two weeks.)
Lesson #2: If the definition of insanity is Big coming in my room every five minutes during “rest time” to see if he can “get up” yet, the definition of creativity is him quietly slipping a note under my door that says “Amy” attached to a string that leads to the playroom where he wants me to come join him.
Lesson #3: If you can’t find your Bella Band, check the bottom half of your belly that you can no longer see. Turns out some pregnant stomachs—yes, even ones that have 14 more weeks to go—have the power to defy the elastic miracle that is the Bella Band.
Lesson #4: When given a new bottle of wonderfully fruity shampoo, a formerly trustworthy 4-year-old self-bather loses all control. After going through 1/3 of the bottle in a single shower (no exaggeration, I’m afraid), the whole house smelled like watermelon, the water looked like a luxurious bubble bath and the bath toys (and tub itself, I learned later) were more slippery than Clark’s saucer sled in Christmas Vacation. (On a side note, wonderfully fruity detangler works. It really works!)
Lesson #5: Going to Target, Costco and Safeway all in one weekend may require you to look into a second mortgage (not to mention a therapist). Though going grocery shopping alone for once makes it feel like a Mommy vacation. And that’s gotta be worth something…right?
Feel free to leave your list of thank yous in the comments because I know you’re all superstars. And the best part is, you can take as long as you’d like…I’m too technically challenged to figure out how to play music on my blog.
Photo from Flickr by TinCanOrange.