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Slice-of-life stories about parenthood

Minivan Manifesto

Minivan Manifesto

September 1, 2011 by Amy, Using Our Words 16 Comments

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Lately I’ve been hearing myself say things I never thought I would: Get your finger out of your butt. Stop dancing on the table. Seriously, get your finger out of your butt. I. Love. My. Minivan.

That’s right. I said it. “Love”, “my” and “minvan” all in the same-ish sentence.

For years I fought the idea that one day I’d be driving a bunch of kids around town in a bubble. Why? I forget.

Ok, I don’t forget entirely, but for some reason I no longer care that 90% of the population finds me completely uncool. (My apologies to my former Saatchi colleagues, but even the brilliant Swagger Wagon campaign didn’t change non-minivan drivers’ minds. It just gave minivan drivers a much-needed ego boost—and the rest of us a good laugh.)

Anyway, Lenny casually mentioned I should test drive one before we took the plunge on the outrageously hip SUV we were about to get. (You know, the one that wouldn’t fit in the preschool parking lot?) Not because he wanted the social stigma practical answer—oh no, he didn’t. He just said it on a whim. And I do what my man says.

That’ll teach him. Because instantly, I knew. I knew “The Odyssey” was “The One”.

A minivan is the embodiment of old-fashioned values meet new-fashioned technology. It opens (and closes) doors for me. It chills my drinks and warms my seat. It’s gentle with the things most dear to me (i.e. eggs and milk cartons). It helps me get wherever I want to go and doesn’t let anything get in my way. It’s flexible and willing to change to meet my every need. Heck, it even memorizes all my favorite songs and sweetly (or hair bandedly) serenades my every mood.

But, as a mom, one of my favorite things about my new love is how sweet it is to my little loves. It gives them plenty of space, but a coveted sense of security. It sets them up for success—allowing them to do things on their own—while ensuring I have fewer reasons to yell (i.e. door dings, excessive touching). Plus, it’s so vast and surround soundish, the only thing I can’t hear is a good amount of the whining from the back. Let me be clear… Can. Not. Hear. Whining. And those impossibly long rides are suddenly possible—and even full of belly laughs—thanks to the show-stopping entertainment (system).

Friends? Why yes, they’re welcome. Lots and lots of them. And the under-8 variety even enjoy being seen with us.

While I didn’t think it was possible, it’s true. My empty coffee cup collection runeth over. (And my minivan is totally ok with that thanks to its 43 cup holders and trash-bag holder.)

Ride on, fellow minivan drivers, ride on!

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Filed Under: featured, Mom Musings Tagged With: convenience, family, minivan, motherhood

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Comments

  1. Amy Nelson says

    September 1, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    You sold me:> Now on my “next car” list.

    Reply
    • Amy says

      September 1, 2011 at 8:49 pm

      Are you kidding? Your rental was part of what sold me. Now, if you could just give me the nerve to take 5 kids to Pump it Up on my own!

      Reply
  2. Kate says

    September 1, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    I love this. I also went through the same thing a few months ago and *love* my minivan too! They are the best. welcome to the club.

    Reply
    • Amy says

      September 1, 2011 at 8:50 pm

      I’ve seen you make a minivan reference or two. It’s knowing cool people like you took the plunge that helped me get past some of my social phobias. Thanks for the warm welcome (which also happens to be what I’ll be saying to my driver’s seat this winter).

      Reply
  3. Jodie Hoffman says

    September 1, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    um – cup cooler?! um – built-in trash can?!?!?! I think I’m in love already!!! 😉 Congrats on the new wheels!

    Reply
    • Amy says

      September 1, 2011 at 8:52 pm

      Yes! It has a little compartment that I can press a button and it chills food/drinks. Best feature ever! As a newly crowned SAHM, you might want to consider this luxury carpooling dream. Just sayin.

      Reply
  4. Dana says

    September 1, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    Something you could never imagine and now, at last its Yours!! Congratulations on taking the leap–and your tots thank you, too!!

    Reply
    • Amy, Using Our Words says

      September 2, 2011 at 9:17 am

      So true…Big comes home from school upset that he didn’t get to ride in it all day. It’s almost as cool as the bus. Almost.

      Reply
  5. Nancy Wasdin says

    September 2, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    I LOVE MY MINIVAN, TOO!! Have had it for several years… don’t remember why I didn’t want one and not sure I can ever go back 🙂 Enjoy!

    Reply
    • Amy, Using Our Words says

      September 2, 2011 at 7:36 pm

      Good to know I’m in good company. Ride on hot minivan lovin’ mama!

      Reply

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