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Let’s Hear it for the CHOs!

Let’s Hear it for the CHOs!

September 29, 2011 by Amy, Using Our Words 4 Comments

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Unfortunately I’m suffering from a major flare up of carpal tunnel, and I’m trying to take it easy with the typing this week. So…in order to save my hand and entertain you, I’ve posted a piece I wrote for Purex a couple months ago. I’m guessing many of you can relate. Please share anything I missed in the comments!

 

Job Description: Chief Household Officer

Location: Home based, frequent local travel required

Seeking a fun-loving, hard-working individual who can master a laundry list—which just so happens to include laundry—of skills and expectations and thrive on little-to-no sleep. This leader will run a team of direct reports (i.e. children and/or spouse/ex-spouse/pets), as well as a vast dotted-line workforce (i.e. pediatrician, teachers, in laws, coaches, babysitters, other part/full-time work, billing departments, alarm clocks, etc.).

 

Roles and responsibilities include, but are not limited to:

• Turning helpless creatures into respectable citizens

• Kissing—and wiping—faces, noses, butts and feet

• Reading minds, as well as the same board book, all day long

• Remembering preferences, schedules, lunch boxes and a sense of self

• Maintaining a sanitary—and sane—environment

• Ability to juggle many tasks at once and shift gears without warning

• Balancing budgets, grocery bags and bikes/scooters/gymnasts

• Teaching sleep, nutrition, manners, letters, numbers, sports, music, values, interpersonal skills, driving, a sense of humor and common sense

• Partnering, compromising and other funny business with other executive team member

 

Minimum qualifications:

• None

 

Preferred qualifications:

• Advanced degrees in education, economics, psychology, medicine, communications and culinary arts

 

Compensation/benefits include:

• Heart-bursting moments of pride

• Unlimited affection (in the form of hugs, kisses, cuddles and head butts)

• Wide range of laughs, including the coveted belly kind

• Fresh perspective on life

• The good kind of baby smell

• Dance partners

 

No need to apply. The job is all yours, so enjoy it. Really, really enjoy it.

 

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Related

Filed Under: featured, Mom Musings Tagged With: chief household officer, housework, husband, kids, motherhood, working mom

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Comments

  1. Anne says

    September 29, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    This is SO cute! I love it.

    Reply
    • Amy says

      September 29, 2011 at 10:18 pm

      Thanks, my fellow CHO! (Who also knows how wonderfully intriguing we are to the world of marketing.)

      Reply
  2. Carolina says

    April 13, 2012 at 11:14 am

    I love this post. It’s so spot on and funny!

    Reply
    • Amy, Using Our Words says

      April 15, 2012 at 7:22 am

      So glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply

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I’m Amy, the girl next door. I’m your average obsessive mom/ happy wife/ freelance copywriter/ slice-of-life blogger/ social media addict/ chocolate lovin’ wino. Read More…

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