Look at that face. How can you say no to that, right? Well, here’s how:
No! Stop licking your sister’s head.
No! You know you’re not allowed to jump off the side of the couch.
No, we don’t use potty talk unless we’re in the bathroom.
No, cookies aren’t breakfast food.
No, I can’t help you build a train track right now.
No, we have to stay inside this morning.
No, I really need you to go take your nap. I’m sorry I don’t have time to cuddle.
Let’s face it, sometimes we have to tell our kids no. But lately I’ve been finding myself saying “no” when I really should be saying “yes”. Why? I’m not proud of it, but I’ll be honest. It’s because I can’t seem to say no to other people (who try as they might just aren’t as cute as Little).
Freelance writing projects. Blogging events. Volunteer time. Even social gatherings. They’re all getting the best of me and my family is getting what I have left over. Which, given that whole feeding the baby thing and not sleeping consistently, isn’t all that much.
So I’m making a change. I’m embracing those two little letters that pack a huge punch. And, since I didn’t use them aggressively enough to begin with, I’m starting to use them in self defense. (Let me tell you, if you thought it was hard to say no to begin with, it’s about ten times harder to say no once you’ve said yes.) I don’t feel good about backing out of commitments (if you know me you can probably imagine how much I’m beating myself up about it), but I know it’s what I have to do.
For my sanity. For my family’s happiness. For now.
Someday I’m be saying:
Yes! I did write that article you read in that parenting magazine.
Yes! The publisher loved my book.
Yes! I did help plan this wildly successful school fundraiser.
Yes! I did host a dinner party that didn’t include paper plates.
But for now I’m saying:
Yes, I said no. Again.
Yes, let’s build a fort.
Yes, let’s get outside for a bit.
Yes, I did talk to my parents today.
Yes, I love being a mom of three—especially to Big, Little and Pink.
And I’m quickly learning that all those yeses make the nos a whole lot easier.
What are you saying no—or yes—to these days? Any tips on how to make it easier?
well, considering i’ve been working on my friend’s website for about 2 months (and completely revamped said site) and am doing it for a “thank you” (and that’s when i can get a hold of her), but yet continue to work on it because i have this need for perfection (others would call it obsessive), i think we pretty much know the answer to whether i can say “no” or not.
not to mention the fact that you have helped me during your sleeplessness, i think we can safely say we both suck at saying “no”. however, i have faith in you! lead the way, my friend, and i will do my best to follow! though, i have a feeling i’ll be trailing behind you in “no” woman’s land. 😉
Helping a friend is a wonderful way to not say no, if you ask me. You’re very generous with your time and I know it will be appreciated!
It’s always appreciated, which is why I keep doing it. Well, that and my obsessive need for my work to be perfect. And, honestly, a simple “thank you” goes a long way with me. But I also don’t have 3 kids so I do have some time to spare. I just a dog who could lose a few lbs. because I also can’t seem to say “no” to her, either! 😉
this reminds me a bit of something you wrote a while ago about (or something along the lines of) throwing the schedule and “right way” out the window to do the wild/silly/kid-inspired stuff… like leaving forts up in the living room for the weekend, or eating dinner under the table, or letting them pick their outfits and dress themselves… regardless of what they pick…. Okay, well those may not have been your examples, but it made me consider “why not” to some of the impractical kiddie requests.
This ‘follow up’, shall we say, is really taking an honest look in the mirror about what it is that is keeping us from our loved ones and making us reevaluate priorities… on that note, I’m signing off and going to see what my boys want to do 😉
thanks for another great post!
xoxo