10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 41

As you can see from Lesson #4, I’m finding myself too tired to come up with a witty intro. (Feel free to blame the teething baby. I do.)

Lesson #1: Sometimes you have to just stop and look at the leaves. In kindergarten, it’s because your art teacher tells you to, and you have to follow the rules. As the parent volunteer, it’s also because the art teacher tells you to, but the difference is, you thank her for it at the end of the 20 minutes.

Lesson #2: There are few things more humbling than having to call the stylish 20-something fashionista sales woman into the Nordstrom dressing room to free you from the dress you thought was sassy and hot, only to be told it was really “more a mother-of-the bride dress”. Don’t worry, I redeemed myself. I impressed her with my unique sense of style moments later when I came out in my Target jeans with the fluorescent green “School Volunteer” sticker on the leg. Take that, pre-kid lumpless lady. And yes, I will take the $300 dress you convinced me was much more the look I was going for, thankyouverymuch. (Oh, and that “body shaper” you suggested I might want to invest in.)

Lesson #3: I have a whole new appreciation for the expression “human garbage disposal” since our actual one broke. I’ve been feeding my kids waffles for a week to minimize waste.

Lesson #4: You know you’re tired when you’ve been standing on your porch pointing your car key fob at the front door and can’t figure out why it’s not opening.

Lesson #5: If you’re looking for something to do on a Friday night, it turns out the grocery store is wonderfully empty. Just be warned that the only people there are either very grumpy or teenagers trying to buy alcohol. (The good news is, a smile and a dusty ID make you the all-star customer.)

Lesson #6: Laughing with my kids as they do their spank yourself dance move probably won’t be on my “best of” parenting reel.

Lesson #7: (Which is completely unrelated to Lesson #6…) There comes an age where you wouldn’t dream of running around the house without pants, or at the very least, underwear. That age is not 2 going on 3. Or 5.

Lesson #8: Apparently Little isn’t mispronouncing his new pride and joy. Bonk bed is exactly what it is. (For him, at least.)

Lesson #9: There are moments as a mother that you think your kids haven’t listened to a single thing you’ve said, but then you hear something come out of their mouth and it’s as if you said it. Like this week, I asked Little what he wanted for lunch and he answered, “Chocolate chocolate chocolate. That’s all I ever want is chocolate.”

Lesson #10: No matter how well you know your almost-birthday-boy, taking him to the toy store to scout for presents can be an real eye-opening experience. After an hour of hunting down the coolest stuff around, Little declared, “I know what I want! A bad woman.” Then, moments later (at 2pm) he said, “When’s dinner? I’m tired of this hard work.” What hard work is that? “Playing and looking at superheroes all day.” Yeah? Well this Wonder Woman isn’t so sure you’ll be getting birthday presents after all. That is unless you meant a mad woman, and, if that’s the case, maybe I’ll just tie a bow around myself come Thursday.

May this holiday week give you time to reflect on all of the moments you’re grateful for (and the ability to laugh at all the others).

Photo from Flickr by The Bacher Family.