Last week we got a new shed. This may not sound all that monumental to some of you, but in our world, it is. Now we can clear out some of the stuff that’s been cluttering our house. And soon I’ll be able to breathe easier.
You see lately I’ve been feeling suffocated by our stuff. When we moved into our sweet little house seven years ago, we were newlyweds and didn’t have enough furniture to fill three glorious bedrooms. Now, as a family of five, we have enough to fill every bedroom and and then some. Which is where the shed comes in.
But as we move things out to their new home, I can’t help but wonder why we’re holding on to some of these things. Do we really need them, or is it just too hard to let go?
Will I ever glance back through my brainstorming notebooks from the ad agency I worked at ten years ago? (Or the company I worked at one year ago, for that matter?) Probably not. But I can’t help remembering that people thought I was pretty good at writing ad copy. And this being at home with the kids thing I’ve been doing? Well, I’m not so sure I am good at it. Even if I do love it.
That box of itty-bitty bikinis and the like? Even if I could wear them still, I wouldn’t. But I can still smell the salt air that screams, “It’s 10am on Saturday. Time to roll out of bed and onto the beach again.”
I haven’t had the heart to move the bassinet out there yet. Besides being buried under a pile of—you guessed it—stuff, it’s a reminder that we have a teeny, sweet, cuddly baby. Only that sweet, cuddly baby isn’t so teeny any more.
Old toys, Halloween costumes and, Lenny’s favorite, my roller blades. It’s not about the role they might play in our future, though that’s what I tell myself. It’s about the role they played in my past.
And the more I think about this, the more I realize it’s not just my garage or closet that’s overflowing with stuff. My head is too. So I can’t find the really important stuff, because it’s buried under a bunch of other junk I can’t seem to throw out.
How am I going to get Little to preschool and get to Big’s school in time to be the art volunteer tomorrow? Did I sound professional in the email I sent regarding a freelance job this morning since I was holding a crying baby at the time? Will saying “no” now mean that people will stop asking altogether? It’s been a couple weeks since I bought that DVD organizer and it’s still sitting in the bassinet. Did I remember to do the dishes tonight? Will Little wake up scared again and cry for me to sleep in his bed? Will I ever get a sign that my dad is watching over me? Will my kids? What am I going to talk to a bunch of strangers about at Lenny’s work dinner next week? Is Jennifer Aniston really going to be a mom? And if so, will she ever have a day like I did today? I should go to bed. I just totally over shared…and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t in the endearing, insightful way, but in the creepy a-blog-is-not-a-journal way.
You see? I have too much stuff. But I’m working on cleaning things up. A little bit at a time.
What a great post! I do the same exact thing so I need therapy too! I keep thinking I’ll sell all this great stuff on ebay. I keep too much schoolwork and art projects I know I’ll never look at because it piles up so high. Yay for the shed!!!
Ha, we’re working on our eBay list too. So far, it’s blank. Best of luck to you and, yes, yay for the shed!
Great post Amy! I can SO relate! My head is more cluttered than the house! Like Demi, I sometimes wish I could be treated for “exhaustion”. But instead, I get up, grab a diet coke and MOVE on!! 🙂
Too funny. Keep on keepin’ on! You do it well!
This is why I love you. We’re all feeling it or have felt it or know exactly what you are talking about. Doesn’t make it right, but it does mean you’re not crazy on top of everything else. Just focus on the one declutter project you’re thinking about right now. Worry about the rest when you’re done. Slowly it all clears away.
A few deep breaths of ocean air might do the trick too.
One last thing-this may be pre-trip paranoia. Before any trip I take I literally get crazy with worry over so many ridiculous things it nearly paralyzes me. I’m usually on the plane before I realize I was anxious about leaving my kids and all the other stuff and clutter was just masking a legitimate fear. The good news is they’re always fine and I’m usually much more clear headed upon my return.
Good luck Amy.
You are not alone.
No doubt there’s a fair amount of pre-trip anxiety in here too. Perhaps a day in a lounge chair is just what I need. (That and a fruity drink.) Thanks for talking me down from my crazy.
Sounds like your head ticks along a lot like mine. Also, I remember that salt air scream, and my little bikinis. And I’m pretty sure I JUST tossed my roller blades last year, and I haven’t used them since I lived on the strand after college. Which was a LONG time ago.
Use the shed. Don’t toss anything until you’re ready.
You are doing fine.
🙂 xo
Oh, my friend, the shed isn’t big enough for all my baggage. But thank you for the encouragement.
Amy – Thank you for being real! You made me laugh, you made me cry and you made me think I need to clean out our storage area! Keep speaking the truth and never worry about over sharing…you are surrounded by others that feel you. Keep on writing. 🙂 Ang
Maybe we can clean out each other’s stuff? That would be good for some laughs, I bet. Thanks, my friend!
Amy, I can so relate! There’s a website you may want to check out. I will put out this little warning: sometimes some of the things are overkill, but I love the basic messages. “You are not behind. Jump in where you are. You can do anything for 15 minutes. You can’t organize clutter.” A personal idea is to take a picture of the item with the fond memories and put it in an album that’s easily accessible. Then bless someone else with the item. Or as I tell my kids, give it to someone who will love it as much if not more than us. Here’s the website: flylady.com. Let me know what you think!
Thanks, Melinda! My mom gives me Fly Lady tips all the time…now if I could just put them to good use. We do that with pictures…Big has such a hard time saying goodbye to things. Our old car, his old shoes, even the old shed. We don’t need to save the pictures, fortunately, but it comforts him. I so appreciate the encouragement!
Amy- the stuff changes as the kids age.. It is also easier to make the keep/toss decision when several years of dust mask the actual item beyond all recognition. Your genes predispose you to be a sentimental person and a writer. Some people in the Foss clan are also a wee bit of a pack rat. It gets better. Really!
One good idea…My friend,Susan, only allowed her teenage children one new item of clothing for every item recycled. It really gets better.
Sentimental. I’ll go with that. Honestly, I don’t think I’m that much of a pack rat…it’s more that our extended family (and Lenny) are enthusiastic consumers. So the stuff just seems to keep coming in. If I weren’t so busy cleaning up toys, I’d happily get rid of most of my stuff (just not the roller blades).
On a side note, have you heard stories about my dad on roller blades? That man (and my brother) were unlike anything I’ve ever seen before!
You’re an awesome writer don’t ever doubt that….you were always my favorite to work with…=)
Thanks, D!