First, a belated birthday shout out to the one and only Lenny! Yesterday was the big day and we’re all still coming down from our sugar highs.
Now, on to official blog business. While these really span the last couple weeks, lessons #1-3 were today. I’m still reeling.
Lesson #1: After a grocery trip (with Pink and Big) that brought me to my knees (and very close to tears), I realized that our local Safeway is totally on to something. They’ve applied for a license to serve alcohol. And based on my experience—along with the other families I witnessed—it’s going to be a big money maker for them.
Lesson #2: According to Big, crazy is on a scale of 1-100. And after our shopping trip, he said I was “like, a 2000”. I’m thinking telling him we needed to see if the grocery store had a lost & found so we could try to find my mind may have been the culprit behind the last 0.
Lesson #3: Maybe a little crazy isn’t such a bad thing after all. Somehow Big finished the shopping trip feeling so bad for me that he ended up bagging all of our groceries. Without being asked. (And surprisingly quickly…though at the 2-hour mark, what’s a few extra minutes?)
Lesson #4: If you find yourself jealous that both your kids have play dates, take matters into your own hands. I one up’ed em—had the plumber and washing machine repair guy come over on the very same day.
Lesson #5: If you happen to be a plumber and your clients can overhear you talking to your colleague, there are certain phrases that don’t exude confidence: “Hmm…” “Wow!” (followed by loud sighs) “I’ve never seen one like that…” “Hey, how’d you do that?!” “Oops!”
Lesson #6: Beware of hiding from your play date if you aren’t sure that they’re going to arrive any moment. Otherwise when they do show up, they might find you sound asleep.
Lesson #7: And if you have a kid who really likes to hide—especially when it’s time to leave for school—you might just find him curled up in the empty bookshelf you’ve been too busy to fill.
Lesson #8: When you leave your kids behind to go away for a few days, you can’t help but worry about them picking up bad habits. Big’s new vice? Eating seaweed.
Lesson #9: Your brain takes a few days to come back from vacation. Which explains why I put Pink’s bowl of sticky icky baby food within her reach. Every meal for the first three days.
Lesson #10: Apparently Little thinks he’s a better parent than I am. The other day, he turned to me and said, “Can you watch Pink? I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be super fast!”
I’d write more, but since Safeway hasn’t gotten that license yet, I have to make up for lost time. Have a great week!