10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 63

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, grandmas and great grandmas out there! I was thinking of making a footprint butterfly for each of you, but since being pregnant with Pink, my foot doesn’t fit on a piece of construction paper anymore. It’s the thought that counts anyways, right? I have a couple of Mother’s Day inspired posts still to come this week, but in the meantime, a bit of everyday fun.

Lesson #1: I should really take my own advice. You know, the one about the three-year old on a two wheeler and the FSA contribution? Yeah, well, I didn’t. And I wore a new shirt. I was just begging for a bloody day, and Little obliged. We can now check chin stitches off our summer to do list!

Lesson #2: While Field & Stream might look like a fun magazine to distract your little animal lover in the general surgery waiting room, only dive in if you’re prepared to explain why the super cool deer has a bulls eye imposed on his chest alongside a rifle ad.

Lesson #3: Big is not going to grow up to be a doctor. One queasy glance at Little and he said, “It would have been a lot easier on me if the stitches were in his knee. I can’t even look at him. But I do know what I’m going to write about at Writer’s Workshop tomorrow!”

Lesson #4: Ice cream cures all. After a quick stop on our way home from the doctor’s office, Little was trying to drum up a game of tackle football. (So when Dr. Big told Little he was crazy, no way he’d be allowed to, he went for a quick bike ride instead.)

Lesson #5: Big may not be headed for med school, but the While House is looking like an option. In fact, he’s already preparing for his MTV interview and has written an awesome song in response to the burning political question: Boxers or briefs?

Lesson #6: Speaking of songs, and some new insight from Big, it turns out I’ve had the lyrics to this one wrong for years: The foot bone’s connected to the ankle bone. The ankle bone’s connected to the leg bone. The leg bone’s connected to the knee bone. The knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone. The thigh bone’s connected to the wenis bone.

Lesson #7: The only way to make t-ball and flag football practice more fun than they already are—especially on a crazy hot day—is to practice throwing with water balloons.

Lesson #8: When your baby is making animal noises as loud as she possibly can at the party store (where you’re stocking up on water balloons for your own yard), and the people in line behind you don’t even crack a smile, you can’t help but be glad you weren’t invited to their party.

Lesson #9: While deciding to ditch the rash guard for a tan chest may be cool, insisting on pulling your swim trunks up over your belly button kinda defeats the purpose.

Lesson #10: There is such a thing as too clean. In Lenny’s amazing attempt to make sense of my organized chaos, he also cleaned out my car. He didn’t just take out the trash, he removed the sitting-on-the-lawn-at-practice blanket, the keep-Pink-napping-during-the-transfer-inside blanket and the baby carrier. (But it really did look good. I even took it to get washed before I threw everything back in.)

Thanks for spending some of your very special day with me. Now get back to your celebrating!