10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 64

After this weekend, I came up with a snappy title for the book I’m going to write. Two Baptisms, a T-ball Game, a Family Party for Pink, an All-Nighter With a Sick Birthday Girl, A Classmate’s Birthday Party and a T-ball End of Year Party (Interrupted By a Trip to Urgent Care): The Downfall of an Over-Scheduled Suburban Perfectionist. I was considering adding “Failed Team Mom” in there somewhere, but I really thought less was more. Can’t you just see it flying off the shelves?

Lesson #1: Telling your kid you’ll do something in “just a minute” takes on a whole new (and rather frustrating) meaning when the kid understands time and never seems to tire of counting to 60.

Lesson #2: “I don’t like cheese, but I do like cheese,” is a perfectly logical statement to a 3-year old.

Lesson #3: You know that really pretty, sweet friend you love to spend time with—that is, until you go out in public and she’s so magnetic it’s as of you don’t exist? I’m realizing that’s exactly how Little (or any big sibling, for that matter) feels around town with Pink (or any newish baby, for that matter).

Lesson #4: When this is the conversation at the table over a bowl of granola, it’s either time to stop leaving the TV on Food Network, or to start offering a more gourmet breakfast menu: “Mmm! This is really good cereal.” “Is it an explosion of flavors?” “Oh, yeah.”

Lesson #5: Ironing was a pastime of mothers from different generations—you know, before we had to battle five-point harness car seats.

Lesson #6: When your baby’s favorite thing in the world is a doll that she kisses, sings to and cuddles, you think you’re doing something right as a mom. Then your six-year old steps in with, “Hey look, she’s screaming at her baby just like you do!”

Lesson #7: If you can’t beat ’em, bite ’em. At least that seems to be Pink’s approach to nail butchering trimming.

Lesson #8: Pink’s birthday made her a bit emotional too. Though she doesn’t seem to cry every time she hears Taylor Swift sing Don’t Ever Grow Up, she did wake up crying the night before her birthday and just wanted to be held for a bit. I cherished every minute knowing that, soon enough, consoling her will be so much more complicated.

Lesson #9: While I appreciate that my kids love to throw coins in the wishing well at our doctor’s office, at the rate we’re going, at least one of them is going to have to skip college. (Then again, if our co-pays are considered donations, we may have a wing at Stanford named after us.)

Lesson #10: It is possible for us to have a kid make it to a 1st birthday without an ear infection. It is not possible for us to have a kid make it to one year and one week without both ears being infected.

I’m on the clock for story time. And I’m totally not getting away with the whole “two minute” thing either. Good night, sleep tight. (But if you’re up all night, know that Pink and I are right there with you!)