10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 88

Happy Hanukkah to those of you celebrating this week! Around our house, it’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Lenny enjoyed an 8-hour tree lighting extravaganza, the kids are naughtier than ever, and I had to put a down vest on over my 3/4-sleeved shirt to run an errand at 8pm last night. Whew…Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast.

And, our week in review…

Lesson #1: If you happen to have a toddler with a lovey she carries everywhere, a fondness for hanging out in the bathroom, a mean left arm, and a tendency to throw things when she’s mad, it’s best to keep the toilet seat closed at all times. You know, for Lamby’s sake.

Lesson #2: If you happen to have a toddler who carries (a now kissing) lovey everywhere she goes, budget extra time for the lovey to kiss all characters you see out and about town. The horses at each and every teller at our Wells Fargo are now a whole lot less innocent. As is “Effie” our elf. (Don’t worry, Lamby doesn’t actually touch Effie, she blows kisses…it’s a long-distance, but very committed relationship.)

Lesson #3: Maybe I’ve been staying up too late and my brain is functioning at the level of a 4-year old, but I think Little might be a bit of a wordsmith. The other day he took his sweatshirt out of the dryer and said, “Ooh, it’s soaking warm!” I’m totally using that. (And not just here.)

Lesson #4: Christmas music is wonderful just because, but the songs that are the greatest are the ones your kids try to sing along to. Little keeps asking when we’re going to get some reindeer chairs. Huh? You know, like the song. We need a reindeer type of chair! It’s totally on my Christmas list. He absolutely will not be convinced that Ross Lynch is saying “reindeer type of cheer”. He also announced that the Josh Groban carol on the radio would be a great lullaby for him. He really enjoyed it, but it was making him sleepy. Amen.

Lesson #5: While I’m getting all holy, it’s nice to be constantly reminded (by a preschooler) that Jesus is the reason for the season. But even our most devout child is a bit confused about why we go to mass. He asked Lenny when we were going to church again (yep, I admit it, we’ve been naughty too), because he really wanted to go. Then — in his new way of talking to prove he’s listening and learning his letters he said — “I want to go because of d-…d-…” [insert Lenny waiting for a pious reference] “…d-…donuts!”

Lesson #6: Not only does he want to go to church, Little asked if he can go to work with Lenny because Big did once when he was 4. When Lenny told him it wasn’t that exciting, he said, “Yes it is! I wanna go get some money!” I guess it’s a good thing he understands what work is all about early on.

Lesson #7: When your kid — the one with a really sweet smile on his face — tells you you look pretty, don’t ask clarifying questions. That is unless you’re prepared to hear, “Nooo, you look crazy!”

Lesson #8: It’s a toss up of which is more frightening to a little boy: 1) him thinking you have splinters all over your legs or 2) explaining it’s actually hair.

Lesson #9: I’m officially fired as Birthday Party Coordinator. This time instead of going on the wrong day, I went to the wrong location. Well, half way to it (thank goodness!) before I double checked the address and realized it was 20 minutes away — in the opposite direction.

Lesson #10: Losing (ok, misplacing) a driver’s license and credit card isn’t such a bad thing after all. In the process of tearing the house apart, you might just find a necklace you thought you left in Atlanta, a bag of old clothes to donate, a Christmas tree ornament, and a reminder for your dentist appointment in two days (which thankfully only requires 24 hours notice for a cancellation because you booked your kid’s teacher conference at the exact same time…even though this one actually was on the calendar). Oh, and the things you were actually looking for.

I’m pretty sure this season is going to take my sanity right along with it when it goes. And frankly, I can’t afford to lose the little I have left. Hey, wait, now I know what to ask Santa for… (Hope I remember to visit him!)