This week ended with one baseball practice, two basketball games, three birthday parties, and four glasses of wine (ok, maybe I’ll just have one, but I’m going to imagine it’s four). Whew, this parenting thing is no joke.
Lesson #1: You people are way more into Marissa Mayer than Broadway musicals. At least my take on them…guess I’d better stick to the small screen. Though I still think our family has a future on the big stage. (Spoken like a true Broadway wannabe, right?)
Lesson #2: When you’re scooping poop out of the tub (for what you wish was the first time…that week) and another kid starts coughing so hard you think he might throw up so you cup your hands to catch it, leave it to the calm 4-year old to give the situation a bit of perspective. “You need, like, 100 hands!” Yes, yes I do. Well, that or a kid who doesn’t poop in the bath. Come to think of it, I’d happily take either.
Lesson #3: Don’t jokingly refer to an imaginary future 4th child on Facebook in an effort to get ideas for a baby name blog post. That is unless you want a lot of accidental attention and no practical advice. (So, hey, if you know of any great baby name apps, would you let me know? I promise it’s for Disney Baby, not me.)
Lesson #4: Someone needs to invent a house with a mute button on it. (And a self-cleaning bath tub, of course.)
Lesson #5: As kids learn new skills, it’s important that they understand exactly what it is they’re doing. Otherwise, when it’s time to leave the neighbor’s yard after helping her tidy up her garden, one of the helpers may shout, “But I want to keep planting weed! I. Want. To. Do. Weed!”
Lesson #6: When you start getting texts from your husband who’s in the other room reading bedtime stories with the kids, you can’t help but wonder how engaged he is.
Lesson #7: If you’ve never been to a basketball game starring 4-year olds, here are some of the highlights you’re missing. A kid kicking an opponent (who’s actually a teammate wearing his jersey inside out) in the butt for no apparent reason (other than maybe a misunderstanding when a parent told them to kick the other team’s butt). Two girls playing frog hop from one end of the court to the other (usually in the opposite direction of play). A whole lot of traveling. Outrageously entertaining victory/I-actually-made-a-basket dances. Some pretty amazing shots. And a creative coach telling his wannabe frog, “You get to be my assistant! Run this way down the court with me this time!”
Lesson #8: We spend years teaching our kids not to grab, only to sit on the sidelines of their basketball games shouting, “Get in there and grab it!” The good news is, since most kids never learned the lesson all that well to begin with, it doesn’t take much to unlearn it. (At least that’s how it appeared at Big’s game today.)
Lesson #9: If anybody’s going to get ejected from one of Big’s basketball games, it’s going to be me. In fact, I may take the initiative and kick myself out next week. (What is it about 1st graders playing basketball with a bunch of high school kids as coaches that does me in?)
Lesson #10: After three straight losses, a win feels good. For the kids, too, it seems.
Two, four, six, eight, who do I appreciate? You, you, yaaaaay, YOU! Now get out there, don’t let the week kick your butt, and try to grab a laugh or two along the way.
Like, Like, Like……your posts so take me back to my little boys and all that they diid in their formative years. Your “Big” and “Little” had some laughable (at least for me) moments today when collecting weed proceeds and brushing our dog…..gotta love em!! As for #9, I repeat what I heard Lenny say to Big today…..”mellow out”. xxoo
I’m pretty sure Big and I don’t have the mellow out gene. But I’ll try. Really.
dude – it’s a party all up in this post… there’s poop, drugs, action, and an underdog triumph!!!! Go ahead and use that language to promote your musical, by the way… 😉
You know I will!
I always love reading your things learned posts. It reminds me of when my boys were younger. We’re still dealing with organized sports and some games I think I should eject myself from the game too.
It’s good to hear I’m not alone. Hope you’re doing — and feeling — well!
A great post–LOTS of laughs. Thanks so much, Amy! Brings back so many memories,too!!
Keep your eye on the ball! If you can’t see it, you can’t hit it!
Coming by for a visit and a laugh. This brings back so many sweet memories, poop, vomit, and all. Hope all is well with you 🙂
Ha, great to hear from you! If Facebook is any indication, you’re one busy, famous lady these days. It’s been such fun seeing your success!
Thanks, Amy! You always say the sweetest things! Though, I’m pretty sure I’m more famous in the bakery section at my local market supermarket. (I have the tush to prove it!) So fun seeing the photos of your kids as they grow. Have that 4th 🙂 xo
Well, what better way to celebrate your success than with trips to the bakery? Enjoy and thanks! (Though don’t hold your breath for that 4th!)