I’m almost two years in to having three kids, and I thought I’d heard it all.
“Wow, three kids? You certainly have your hands full!”
“Wow, three kids? And I thought two was tough!”
“Wow, three kids? Well, she’s sure cute.”
“Wow, three kids? And you brought them all to Safeway/Target/Costco/[insert frequent meltdown spot here]?”
“Wow, three kids? No wonder you look exhausted!”
“Wow, three kids? At least you finally got a girl.”
“Wow, three kids? You’re done now, right?”
Three kids doesn’t really seem that crazy to me. So, I can’t help but wonder, do my three kids do something extra special to that garner so much loaded attention?
It seems not. The other day, I saw a man in Starbucks with his three kids. I gave him a great, big smile. I didn’t care that his three-ish-year-old daughter was screaming. I didn’t mind that his eight-ish-year-old son was talking loud enough for the whole place to hear his every thought. I just thought it was great that this dad was taking all of his kids out. Braving the storm.
Then another man walked by, nonchalantly turned to the dad, laughed, and said, “Wow, you’ve got your hands full, huh?” The dad, who had likely heard it all before, and was certainly trying his best, barely acknowledged the comment. And he certainly didn’t appreciate it.
So, a couple days later, when I was talking to my neighbor’s father who was visiting from Canada, I was ready.
He started in…
“Wow, two boys and a girl? They’re all yours?”
“Yep. They sure are.”
“My, you are rich.”
He wasn’t looking at my dirty yoga pants, my dark circles, or my yard that needs a Spring facelift. He was looking at my life.
I am rich. These three little kids come with their challenges, and there are days that may be a bit more exhausting than I had imagined, but the joy they bring me, that’s worth its weight in gold. And I’m so very grateful to a wise man for reminding me of that.
Love this post. I always get a giggle out of the dumb/inconsiderate/funny things that people say to me when I am with the boys (with that said, I have yet to attempt grocery shopping with both of them in tow without backup). What I love most is when people, usually older (as in 60’s, 70’s) say – TWIN BOYS? You won the lottery! or TWIN BOYS? Do you ever stop counting your blessings? It always gives pause to both me and my husband. And, no, we haven’t stopped counting yet…….
I hope you never stop counting. Those boys are definitely blessings!
What a lovely, and spot-on reframing! I love it!
Exactly. I just loved that he looked at life that way. Thanks, Deb!
I know I’m guilty of the “wow” comments to people with more than 2. Maybe because if I had 3 Hoffchildren, I’d need to be medicated and would likely be rocking myself in the corner with my thumb in my mouth… So hats off to you for bringing more wonderful kiddos into the world!!! 🙂
Jodie, I certainly know where you’re coming from when you say those things. No doubt I’ve said my fair share, as well! This wasn’t necessarily about the 3-kid comments. Goodness knows when I had just 2, I got, “Wow, two boys?…” I just loved that this man looked at my family and rather than pointing out the overwhelming side, he found the beautiful side. It was refreshing—especially because I know the overwhelming part all too well! (Don’t we all?)
This gave me a tear in my eye. I frequently get the “a boy and a girl, you’re done right?” It makes me pause and then say “ah, I’m not sure.” And I am honestly not sure. When did society decide that two was the perfect number and the only reason to have more is to try for a boy/girl. I love the reframe that the “rich” life is full of the joy of kids/large family. I think there is no greater joy than that of a large family. Thank you for sharing this delightful way to think about it.
Three kids -why not? Each is a gem, a trial, a blossom unfolding, a pebble in your shoe.. full of gooey smiles and belly laughs. I agree, you are rich.
If only belly laughs counted as sit ups!
Ooops, I’m so sorry. I’m that mom of 2 that unknowingly says crap like “Wow. And I thought 2 was tough” 😉
This is lovely, what a nice reminder to us all. I often just shake my head in awe and thankfulness for my family… what a blessing, indeed.
Oh gosh, no apologies. It IS tough — no matter the number of kids you have. This was really more about how most people look at us and see chaos. I just so appreciated that he looked at us and saw beauty. A great reminder to us all!
What wise and true words that man shared with you and now you share with us. No matter how many, children are a gift. They do make us rich indeed!
You’re a power mom. Indeed! 😀 I’m always been amazed with people like you who can handle near to impossible things just like what you had. You inspired me today! 🙂
Well said. One is enough, two is too much.. But, three?! Oh well, you are TOTALLY blessed.. Indeed very rich.. So happy for you! 😀