This post was inspired by the gripping and lovely suspense thriller Afterwards by Rosamund Lupton. After witnessing her children’s school set ablaze, Grace attempts to find the arsonist as her teenage daughter lies in a coma. Join From Left to Write on April 11th as we discuss Afterwards. As a member, I received a copy of the book for the purposes of this post.
Right now I’m thousands of feet above ground, having kissed my kids goodbye for a few days. While I head to British Columbia to visit Club Penguin headquarters for a press event, they’re staying behind, continuing their normal routine. Only without me.
But it’s ok — I know they’re in good hands. And I know that even if they miss brushing their teeth one night, or forget to take Friday sharing to school, that they’ll be just fine. Plus, the five pages of notes I left as my insurance policy should help ensure things run smoothly.
But what if I hadn’t been able to plan. Or to come home in a few days? What if some tragedy kept me from them?
Beyond knowing that Big won’t drink milk from a cardboard container (or the kind that has a “%” in the name), that Little does like the crust on his sandwich this week, and that Pink just mastered taking off her own diaper, there’s stuff that only I know.
Could anyone else delicately unravel the knots that Big spins in his chest all day at school? Could they read the situation to know what it was going to take to soothe him — or would they unintentionally pull the strings tighter and make him snap?
Could anyone else know that bedtime stories aren’t at all about the books for Little? That my tactile boy needs that time to have his back, arms, and head scratched — to have a warm, human connection?
Could anyone else know that Pink just needs a simple reminder that she’s a “happy girl” to turn her frustration into giggles? And that she likes you to move her feet a certain way when you sing If You’re Happy and You Know It at bedtime? But that her real favorite lullaby is a song I learned in Catholic youth group — and she knows all the words (words like adoration and devotion) as best a soon-to-be-two-year old can?
There are things a mom just knows. Things that can’t be written on a to-do list. Things that shape a child’s moment, day, heart. Those are the things that would be truly missed if I weren’t there each day.
It’s funny, there are days that responsibility can feel overwhelming, even like a burden. But today, I’m remembering that being my kids’ mom — the only one who can do things exactly like I do them — that’s a real privilege.
Oh wow, we wrote about something very similar! I totally understand how you feel. Great post!
Thanks, Alicia!
I have been there with the crust vs no crust! It’s funny how we don’t realize all the little things we do until we’re not around to do it.
It’s so true. Thanks, Kim!
I LOVED this post. It so captures the essence of being a Mom–little things that bond mommy and child in a special way. I am now experiencing this phenomenon with my grandchildren and it’s just as special the second time around.
Wow, Brenda, thank you. How special that you get to experience it a second time around. Enjoy those little ones and the ties that bind you!
I do the same thing, and consider it returning my girls to the wilds while I am gone, despite the reams of notes left.
I’m pretty sure the wild suits them…for a short while. 🙂
Truly beautiful post! every word is true and so powerful! your little muffins are so blessed to have such a wonderful Mom. 🙂
Thanks, Lucy. My little muffins (and I!) are blessed to have you looking out for them too. We all adore you.
Love this Amy….beautiful and special.
Hugs, Pam
Thanks, Pam. I really appreciate it. Hugs to you, too!
Such a sweet post Amy! There are times that I yearn for some time away, but this reminds me to savor the little things that only I know about caring for my love bugs. And I secretly don’t want anyone else knowing how to do those certain things the way that I do…is that so bad of me? :).
It’s so true. It’s not an easy job, but I do kind of love knowing I can’t be replaced. I’m right there with you.