I’m not sure how I did it. And I certainly didn’t mean to. But I did. I broke Little.
He doesn’t seem like the fragile type. No, he’s the kid who jumps superhero heights. Runs faster than a speeding bullet. Doesn’t blink at bad news.
It seems I forgot that this tall, lanky wannabe athlete/bad guy/superhero is really just a sensitive, needy little boy.
It seems that my leaving for a few days, combined with his best buddy moving hours away, combined with his ongoing sinus infections/allergies/exhaustion, combined with being the little brother to an overachiever and the big brother to a little performer has finally done him in.
For two months, he’s shed crocodile tears. He’s literally held on to me for dear life. He’s begged me not to leave his side, and yelled at me for standing too close. This morning? He cried and yelled for an hour because I wouldn’t buy him new sports shoes. Then he collapsed into me. And I eased him off the ledge, and into a long, calming bath.
I’m trying to fix him. I’m spending more time being totally present. Scratching his back, arms, and head every moment I possibly can. Eliminating any medications that might be making this worse (which has led to another round of antibiotics). Telling him all the reasons he — and he alone is special. Fostering new friendships. And loving this sweet, little, broken boy with my whole entire heart, which breaks a little every time I see the desperation in his eyes.
This is real. This is family. And I’ll keep holding on until we reach the other side of this — together.
This post was inspired by the Project: Underblog Monthly Link Up. June’s topic is family. I hope you’ll come check out the other writers who shared their stories, too! And if you’re a blogger, link up!
Awwww…..you’re doing all the right things Amy. Being a parent isn’t always easy and a lot of it is trial and error. Children are all so different and they’re each very special. Keep on doing what you’re doing….you will reach the “other side”. You’re a wonderful mother! Hugs
Thanks so much. Lovely words to hear from another wonderful mother.
Being a middle kid is hard. You’re doing the best thing by noticing that he isstruggling. Hang in there!
I had no idea how hard being in the middle was. I can sure see it now… Thanks, Leslie!
Oh, Amy. This post breaks my heart. Not just for Little, but for you too. My mom used to say, “You’re only as happy as your saddest child” and I know you must be feeling that way. He’s so lucky to have a mom (and dad) who care so much and try so hard.
It’s true. My mother-in-law says the same thing. These kids are our hearts, aren’t they?
I’m speaking with my Parenting Coach voice here: “Little, this is so sad. What can you do to feel better? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Hang in there! You are clearly a wonderful Mom!
Great words that I will use often. Thanks, Lori!
oh amy – I am always in awe of you and how you try and pay special attention to each of your kiddos – your individual dates with your kiddos are inspirational and I keep telling myself I need to do this… someday I’ll get there. In the meantime – maybe a special night with a sundae dinner for your sweet boy! xoxo
Yes, Jodie. I need to be doing more of those one-on-one dates. Great reminder, thanks! xo
I saw this only recently.. and I felt very sad.. but then I realized it’s been about 10-12 days and hey, kids recover fast, dont they 🙂 I so, so hope Little is back to being his usual sunny, cheerful self.. and I feel confident you are doing a good job with your kids, Amy…I am sure he will not even remember these things later on and always confidently think that his mom thought he was totally special!
That’s very sweet, Vrushali. He’s doing a bit better, but we have a long way to go. (And likely a surgery that I’m praying will make a difference in how he feels physically!) You’re right, they do bounce back…and if anyone can bounce back big time, it’s this little jumping bean. 🙂