10 (plus) Things I Learned This Week, Vol 116

With mere days of summer vacation left, we’re packing in every last second of fun we can possibly imagine. Museums, pools, baseball games, friends, you name it. And some of it has even been successful. The rest? Well, that’s what a blog is for…

Lesson #1: When you have two boys in the 7-and-under age range, even the most deep, insightful conversations end up turning to poop. (Literally and figuratively.)

Lesson #2: I’ll admit, even I wasn’t prepared for my 2-year old to start chanting, “I want a Barbie!”

Lesson #3: I’m pretty sure all kids have a sixth sense that they’re supposed to turn into total monsters a week or two before school starts. It’s nature’s way of getting parents ready to say goodbye to summer.

Lesson #4: I weigh a hundred gazillion pounds. Little’s estimate was recently confirmed by my scale.

Lesson #5: I’d totally be a fashion blogger if belly showcasing outfits were as adorable on the 30-something crowd as the under-4 population.

Lesson #6: While we may not feel appreciated all the time, our kids totally have our backs. Big was telling his little 3-year-old buddy that I could help him with his goggles because I used to be a swimmer and a lifeguard. He very sweetly declined the offer, puffed out his chest and said, “My mom is a really good fixer too. She’ll do it.”

Lesson #7: When you promise to take the kids for one last hoorah at their favorite local kiddie pool, you’d better be sure it’s not closed for the season. You know, before you spend the 2 hours required to get everything ready and everyone out the door.

Lesson #8: Along with the pool being closed, there are a few sure signs that summer is coming to an end. Big’s goggles broke (beyond even the most loving mom’s ability to repair them), Little’s goggle-free eyes hit maximum chlorine capacity, all 3 sunscreens in the swim bag went empty, and the (other) pool’s noodles had all gone limp.

Lesson #9: I was right to think it odd when Little enthusiastically ran over to the table at the children’s museum when I asked if anyone wanted to make corn dolls. (You know, for the first time in about 20-some visits to the same museum.) Half way through, it all made sense when he turned to me and said, “This is how you make corn dogs?!” (Luckily the cafeteria menu made up for the confusion later.)

Lesson #10: Little and I finally have something in common. We both wish we could be in Teen Beach Movie.

Just when I thought I’d already finished my post (while getting my hair “painted black” yesterday), I learned another gem…

Plus: A great way to distract your 2-year old at a baseball game is to introduce her to still-in-the-shell sunflower seeds. Not only is it a classy way for a girl to rock a night out, your whole family’s legs and the diaper bag end up covered in chunky spit. (No crying though. That’s worth something, right? Right?)

Best of luck to those of you back to battling lunch boxes and wardrobe issues this week! I’ll be feeling your pain. Promise.