As you may remember, I’ve been trying to get my kids their 15 minutes of fame for awhile now. I mean, I don’t write this blog for fun. (Ok, I do. But is fame and fortune too much to ask for?)
Well, I think I’ve finally found our calling. Are you ready?
I got a casting call email for an upcoming reality show called Sorority Ever After. And they were totally speaking my language — Greek.
I know, I know. At first it doesn’t really sound like a family show. But hear me out. Because I’m pretty sure we’re casting gold. (Or casting blue and blue, if you’re a sister.)
Do you live with or near your sorority sisters from college?
Yes! One even (used to) live around the corner from me. (Oooh, and my doppelganger from another chapter still does!) One just moved back to the Bay Area. And a handful have been here for years. Lucky me, lucky casting agency, I say.
Do you maintain the same code of ethics?
What kind of reality show wants to know about ethics? The kind my friends and I are *perfect* for.
Are your parties bigger?
Seriously, now that “three” is the new “two” as far as kids go, you have no idea how big our parties get. Even when we try to keep them small. And, as if people multiplying wasn’t enough, some masochist went and invented Pinterest. Yep, they’re bigger — and craftier.
Are the men hotter?
I mean, I try to be humble, but wow, my good-looking sistas sure have created some good-looking boys. (And gorgeous girls, to boot.) Play a game or two of pick-up baseball or basketball with this adorable crew, and it *does* get hot. Who knew the boy sweats began so gosh darn early? Yes, these boys run — and sleep — h-o-t.
And, truth be told, after giving birth to a couple of them, I, too, seem to be hotter most of the time.
As for the fraternity-ever-after men? Every time they rock one of our babies — or a dish towel — well, there’s nothing more attractive.
Is the drama amplified?
Do you really need to ask? Have you seen two toddler girls try to share a baby doll and a stroller? Have you ever watched ten kids 8 and under fight for a spot on the dance floor when 90s rap comes on Pandora? Have you ever tried to entertain 15 little ones hyped up on Halloween candy? All. Kinds. Of. Drama.
Without a house mom, who is in charge?
Well, Sorority Ever After, let me tell you. The sisters are now the moms. And we mean business.
Solid application, right?
The only hiccup is that you have to look 35 or younger. Hmm. Well, I did get carded at Safeway recently. Sure they said if you look 40 or younger, they have to ask, but 35 is younger than 40, so maybe I looked it? (Let’s just hope it’s not in HD…)
So, ladies, am I a shoe in? Unfortunately I don’t have any family in show business, so I don’t have that legacy thing working for me this time.
Well, you know what? Even if I don’t get cast (pshaw, I know), I am living Sorority Ever After. I remember thinking the whole “friends for life” thing seemed a bit dramatic way back when I was rushing, but I’m evidence of it. From back-in-black sidekicks and Days of Our Lives watching buddies to bridesmaids and Godparents; from overalls and baseball caps to maternity dresses and nursing bras; from girls finding ourselves to women helping our kids find their socks, we’ve come a long way. Together.
So, thank you ladies of KKG. Not just for sweeping me into your doors all those years ago so that I could become totally famous on this reality show, but for continuing to believe that I’m something special. Whether I still get to see you (and jump up and down with you) as often as our busy lives allow, or you simply give me a thumbs up on Facebook or Instagram from time to time, I’m proud to call you a friend after all these years.
Oh, and stand by, ladies. I may need some rec letters to go with this application.