10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 122

Can you believe it’s October already? My gosh, I haven’t even inhaled an entire bag of candy corn yet. How do I keep falling so far behind?

Lesson #1: It turns out clothes aren’t the only thing that don’t work as hand-me-downs when you have a girl with two big brothers. As soon as Big started reading Once Upon a Potty to Pink the other day, he turned to me, horrified, and said, “Mom! This has inappropriate pictures!” Who knew the book with pink and purple flowers all over it would also have cartoon drawings of a little boy’s potty-making parts?

Lesson #2: While I haven’t noticed it on Pink’s class calendar, I’m pretty sure one of the main activities each day is an intensive game of germ swap. The poor girl’s nose hasn’t stopped running for 5 weeks.

Lesson #3: Little — you know, the one who cries at school because he misses me, his beloved mom, so very much? — said the other thing he loves most about his new school is that moms don’t co-op. (Funny, that’s what I love most about it too.)

Lesson #4: I hate homework. (Even with a kid who’s pretty good at it.)

Lesson #5: So much for those rumors of 2nd grade being a sleepy year with not a ton of learning. Based on what I witnessed in Big’s classroom this week, half the kids in there are going to be better writers than I am come June. Maybe it will rub off on me if I hang out around there more. (After all, the preschool won’t have me.)

Lesson #6: It’s nice to know the neighbors have gotten the memo and aren’t allowing their pets to use our lawn or flower beds as a litter box anymore. It’s not so nice to discover they’ve taken to our roof instead.

Lesson #7: As Little and I ran into the toy store minutes before a birthday party to buy a gift, I realized I need to stop beating myself up for being so unorganized. Not because I have a good excuse, but because we immediately ran into three other party guests and their last-minute moms there as well.

Lesson #8: When this thirty-something-year-old woman goes to a lovely home (or mansion as one of the kids kept calling it) for a birthday party, she can find many things to envy. When her four-year-old son goes to the same lovely home, all he envies is the potential for some serious football playing on the never-ending lawn.

Lesson #9: If your parents let you stay up late enough, you can see polka dots in the sky.

Lesson #10: That girl I found sitting on my bed, listening to Justin Timberlake on the radio and flipping through a magazine? Yeah, she’s going to have to stop growing up so fast.

Gotta run. There’s a soggy-nosed sweetheart calling my name. Oh wait, no, she’s calling Jay Z’s. Well, either way…

Photo credit: morgueFile.com