*UPDATE*- This giveaway is now closed. But I hope you’ll still find time to enjoy Dot Complicated for yourself.
There was a time when work-life balance was the most elusive concept out there. Does it exist? If so, how do you attain it? It’s been debated, debunked, and the subject of best-selling books.
Since becoming a work-from-home mom, I’ve sensed a dramatic shift since that’s creating a new issue — one that’s far more pressing to me. Tech-life balance.
It may sound silly, but to me it isn’t. It’s a very real, very serious concern. Here’s why. Technology makes everything available at a moment’s notice. It doesn’t care if you’re on a field trip with your son’s class. Or waiting for your little ballerina to take to the floor. (In fact, it beckons you to take just one more picture that will live in the depths of your phone, computer, and some mystery cloud forever and ever. And share it, of course.) It has no regard for your “office hours” or snuggle time. And, in my case, because the information — the emails, the status updates, the text messages — sets off an alert on my phone, somehow these things take on an importance that they don’t deserve.
I realize it sounds easy to solve. Turn the phone off. Don’t look at it when you’re out and about. Write technology time onto the calendar. Yes, I know it sounds easy, because I’ve tried these things. But I’ve failed.
As a writer, I’ve failed myself. I’ve become too easily distracted and lacked focus when it comes to my goals.
As a mom, I’ve failed my children. I’ve spent too much time replying to others instead of engaging with them. (And don’t get me started on how technology has impacted them.)
As a wife, I’ve failed my husband. I’ve spent too much time laughing alongside virtual friends rather than him.
But it’s not all bad. Not at all.
Technology has been a lifeline for me. Now instead of walking through the halls and enjoying water cooler chats with friends in the office, I check in with friends online and go back to work with that same refreshed outlook. I’ve joined Facebook groups of like-minded people who have connected me to great opportunities, provided constant encouragement, and helped me be a better writer — and person. I’ve been able to turn acquaintances into some of my closest friends, without concern for the thousands of miles between us.
It’s not all bad. But it is complicated.
And nobody understands that more than Randi Zuckerberg — CEO of Zuckerberg Media, author of the soon-to-be-released Dot Complicated and Dot, and former marketing executive for Facebook. I had the pleasure of meeting her and engaging in a really deep, thought-provoking conversation with her this past summer.
Over the last few years, she’s not only witnessed the birth of social media, she’s experienced the birth of herself as a mother. She intimately knows the power of technology — for better or worse. As I’ve worked with Randi and her team while writing for her site, also called Dot Complicated, and followed her as she grows her media business, I’ve loved seeing that she truly seems to live what she preaches. Wait, I take that back, she’s not preachy at all. That’s the best part. She’s the kind of awesome smart, where you know she’s outrageously well traveled and educated, but she’s still someone you’d want to hang out with at a party — or playground. (I’m thinking Pink and her adorable little guy would really hit it off, too!)
Her book, Dot Complicated, is all about untangling our wired lives. She shares about her experience growing Facebook, and also covers the issues we all face as technology becomes more and more a part of our days. She wants to help people discover their best balance — off- and online. The book will be on shelves November 5th, and I pre-ordered my own copy as soon as I could. (And I also bought a copy of Dot for my kids…I got a sneak peek and it’s really well done!)
Randi and the Dot Complicated team wanted a Using Our Words reader to enjoy her book, hot of the press as well. If you live in the U.S., you can enter for a chance to win a copy by leaving a comment telling me one of your technology challenges by Friday, October 11th at 11:59pm PT. One winner will be chosen at random and will receive the book shortly after the release date. If you don’t win, you can join me by pre-ordering the book.
Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post. All opinions are my own.
Header photo: This fun shot from the blogger luncheon I attended in June is courtesy of Tina Case Photography.
Other photos courtesy of Dot Complicated.
I am very interested in reading this book. I too often find myself glued to my phone while my kids are enjoying life and I’m missing it.
Maybe we can call each other out if we see it happening. In an encouraging way, of course. 😉
Congratulations, Rachel! Random.org chose the number 1 and as the first commenter, you are the lucky winner! The book will be sent to you as soon as it hits the shelves on November 5th. Enjoy!
this is something I absolutely struggle with – perhaps I can get it on our next book club list… But I absolutely struggle with the – hey – I’ll just check FB really quick… and then 45 minutes later… Seriously – 45 minutes scrolling and commenting on stuff….?! I mean, some of it is informative and useful and then actually routes back into me being inspired to do something with my kids…. but seriously… it’s kind of pathetic. (Although i’d never admit that to my FB-averse husband.)
but like every new-fangled technology, there are pros and cons… you just have to know how to filter the wheat from the chaff….. 🙂
Oh, isn’t it the truth? Time disappears all to quickly on Facebook!
It’s shameful really. And smart. Can it be? Phones and feeding. My husband and I both – when feeding the baby have the phone in one hand, catch up on email, instagram, facebook, etc. Read articles. Watch videos. (My favorite cuz it is no hands needed). However, I am also trying to connect with my baby. Stare into her eyes – until she looks away first. But she never looks away. She does not blink. Her eyes don’t close til they get heavy and she falls asleep. So then I look away, to what – checkout someone else’s facebook post. Or instagram picture. Or what’s on sale today at zulily. It is shameful. And this is just one example. There are countless form all hours of the day. Stealing precious time from family time. Time that should be spent eating or talking or playing with my four year old. Or talking to my husband instead of showing him a photo or reading him a quote from an online article on child rearing. Perhaps the best way to be a parent is to have that time with them. All of them. And Dad. I need this book. I am ready to get better. Trying. And need help in succeeding. Guidance for the better way!
You did a lovely job of describing how I feel. Thanks for chiming in…nice to know I’m not alone.
I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to hold a physical book. Exited to read this one!
My biggest technology challenge is not knowing when I should text message over e-mail, and post on Facebook vs. tweet (which I have not conquered) When I am at my desk all day and someone sends a text message, I don’t get it until I pick up my purse to go to lunch or home, all my e-mails go to my phone so that works OK but text messages do not go to my e-mail address. I hate it when I have e-mailed someone and don’t get a response back so I call them and they say I sent a text message an hour ago. Is there a way to change a setting to automatically resend text messages to your e-mail account?
Conquering that balance between reaching out online or in person can create some funny scenarios. When you see a group of people at a table in a coffee house staring at their devices instead of into each others’ eyes, how does that make you feel? Whenever we go out with a certain couple one of them is constantly texting during our precious dinner time together. This particularly annoys my husband to no end. Being casual and familiar while texting within a group setting can sometimes be disrespectful to those of us who want to engage in real -it’s so nice to see you-time. Have we made ourselves too available to the world out there? Are we missing what’s right in front of us? What kind of therapy will we all need in 5-10 years time? All of this activity is supposed to be fun and informative. When it no longer becomes helpful, are you willing to let it go? I can’t wait to read a fresh perspective.
I often think what did I do with my time before social media? I know that nowadays I sit in front of my computer or I’m looking at my phone reading the latest whatever! I’m a media junkie who wants to know whats going on all around me whether it’s my friends lives or the world news.
When I’m working it’s not so much a problem because I can’t be connected all the time but when I’m on my days off or with my family I find myself constantly being drawn to my devices. It’s almost like a crack addiction.
I think there is a lot of benefit from technology but it’s about finding a balance between the two. It’s about living in the now and enjoying what is happening around us. Do I really need to constantly documenting the now and posting it on FB? Engaging with my family in real time and not caring so much about what everyone else is doing or what is happening.
I know my house would be much more cleaner and more organized if I was able to stop letting my technology devices suck hours out of my life.