10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 127

Not only did I find my Christmas CDs, we also got a tree, Lenny strung it with 20,000 twinkling lights (give or take a few), we decked the tree and the house, and Lenny even got our outside lights done — all by noon on Dec 1st. I’m pretty sure I’ll save all the shopping until December 22nd so I can be sure to experience my annual panic attack. This all seems to be going far too smoothly for my liking.

Lesson #1: Since the bunnies at the local animal museum eat carrots, Pink’s convinced that next time we go, we should bring them some ranch. (I mean, not that I use ranch to get my kids to eat veggies, of course.)

Lesson #2: It seems 2-1/2 is the magic age where you discover all that free time you once had is now gone. Lenny asked Pink if she wanted to go to the bus stop the other morning when she woke up and she replied, “No. I’m too busy.”

Lesson #3: Not only is Pink feeling over-scheduled, she’s also feeling like it’s time to audition for a Disney Channel show. In the middle of a conversation with her brothers about Christmas, she started saying, “I’m totally freaking out here!” Um, yeah. Me too.

Lesson #4: It’s so great when my boys finally want to take a break from playing sports to do some arts and crafts. I mean, sometimes you’d rather draw a football helmet than wear one. You know?

Lesson #5: I’m going to need all of you to do me a favor. If any great pop tunes hit the scene in the next month, will you please let me know? I’m all in on Christmas music, but I’d certainly hate to lose my rep as the cheesiest music lover in the ‘hood.

Lesson #6: Apparently if I can be proud that one of our kids never gets in trouble (at school, that is), Lenny can be proud when one does.

Lesson #7: While I thought we enjoyed a lovely Thanksgiving with my mom, brother, and grandmother, I can’t help but think Little and Pink weren’t totally in agreement. Little was bummed out that we didn’t have a menorah, and Pink was seriously miffed to find out we weren’t having macaroni and cheese. They did, however, enjoy climbing under the table and shouting, “Boo!” at the rest of us while we dined. You know, like the Pilgrims did.

Lesson #8: This is definitely my favorite time of year. While the music, lights, and decorations certainly don’t hurt, what clenches it for me is the fact that I can quote National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation far more often than I usually do.

Lesson #9: ‘Tis the season for my fingers to be super glued together.

Lesson #10: Nothing says ‘overconfident’ like a letter that opens with, “Dear Santa, I hope you’re ready to make some presents.”

May all those little lights in your life be twinkling this season — especially the ones that can talk back.