10 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 132

It was a week of dancing, singing, tantruming, fighting (Pink’s nasty cold), shooting (of the basketball variety), victories (also of the basketball variety, as well as the Denver girl variety), and defeats (nooooo Niners). I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted and ready for the kids to get back to school. Except tomorrow is a holiday. Well, for everyone except Lenny. Send me strength…

Lesson #1: On December 17th, I thought hearing Pink sing Up On the Housetop and Little sing a Hanukkah medley could never get old. Around January 14th, I thought again.

Lesson #2: Little finally asked the question we’ve all been wondering since December 26th, “Why does Elfie [as in “on the shelfie”] not come all year if I’m bad all the time?”

Lesson #3: The toddler version of ‘my dog ate my homework’ is ‘my lovey peed in my Pull Up’. (But, strangely enough, the M&M reward stash on the counter continues to dwindle in spite of this.)

Lesson #4: When you ask your preschoolers what they did at school and they both enthusiastically reply, “We had to shake our booties!” this mama can’t help but feel like that tuition check is money well spent.

Lesson #5: I’m pretty sure all of Big’s teachers who can’t wait for Little and Pink to be in their classes are going to be a bit, well…not-so-pleasantly surprised.

Lesson #6: Watching my 2-year old play “mom” helped me understand why I don’t seem to be able to accomplish anything these days. This was her little monologue within a 3-minute period:
First I have to clean up the Legos.
Oh, I need my phone.
Now I clean up.
I have to check on my baby doll.
Ok, you need your seat belt? Yeah.
I’m so thirsty, I need my water bottle before I can work.
Baby Jessica, let’s play Legos.
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause,
Down came the rain and washed the spider out!

Lesson #7: It’s kind of crazy that so many people around here drive all the way to Tahoe and pay huge amounts of money for lift tickets. It turns out if you want to learn to ski, all you have to do is show up to our house in your socks and Big will take it from there.

Lesson #8: My track record with cooking is so bad, Pink can’t even imagine it away. The other day she was on another tea party binge and offered, “You want burned coffee? It’s how you make it.”

Lesson #9: I’m pretty sure the SNL writer who came up with Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts had a 2nd grader doing a poetry unit.

Lesson #10: Forget magazines, what the pediatric dentist’s office really needs for moms watching their kid get a tooth filled is a second hook up of laughing gas.

I’d write a funny closing line here, but my lovey seems to have writer’s block. Have a great week!