At the End of the Day

Here I sit, with my to-do list staring me down, taunting me. Reminding me that things aren’t getting checked off fast enough—or at all, for that matter. As if that’s not bad enough, it’s glaringly obvious that I’ve overlooked adding some rather important things to said list. If only I could remember what they were…

And that’s just the beginning. There’s my inbox. (Ok, two inboxes.) The pile of paperwork that looks more like an avalanche than the organized chaos I imagine it to be. (When did my kids decide that they needed to draw 12 pictures a day?!) There’s a “returns” pile. A “donate” bag/pile/corner. You get my point. And, chances are, you can relate.

Recently I was catching up with a friend who happened to be in my town for business, and had about 45 minutes between meetings to chat. We quickly discussed all the excitement in our lives as working moms of three kids. We talked about how we were going a bit crazy trying to meet deadlines, drive carpools, and volunteer now and then, too.

When I expressed that I felt I’d let down someone important to us by not being better about making social plans, my friend said something that stuck with me. She said, “At the end of the day, I’m done. My to-do list may still be full. There will be things I wished I’d had time to do. But at some point I have to just be done. I’m doing my best. We’re all just doing our best.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about her words. About how they apply to me. You see, I’ve been finding a lot of reasons to beat myself up lately. To dwell on the hows and whens of letting others—and myself—down. To think about what I should have accomplished rather than what I did accomplish. It’s an easy trap to fall into. For all of us.

So now, I’m trying my best to remember that, while I may not write a blog post that changes the face of parenting this week, I did do Pink’s hair just how she likes it this morning (Elsa braid, anyone?!).

And while I didn’t return all the things piling up on my bedroom floor like I thought I would today, I spent time on a volunteer project that I believe is having a really important impact on our school district. (Plus, maybe taking time for a cry after a friend—who can relate all too well—commented on my Huffington Post piece about grief was worth the time…even if it was at Starbucks).

And while I didn’t order the gifts, book the birthday party, or call the friend I’ve been wanting to, I did get the outrageously challenging allergy protection mattress covers on both mattresses on the boys’ bunk bed—all by myself. (Um, yes, based on the sweat I broke, it totally counted as my workout for the week day.)

Here’s the thing. I will always have a to-do list. I will always be a not-so-organized person (yep, typical creative type…). I will always wish I could be doing more.

But at the end of the day?

Well, at the end of the day, if the people I love most fall asleep knowing exactly how much they are loved, then I’ve done exactly what I needed to.