14 Things I Learned This Week, Vol 152

Our kids have a new adoring aunt, I have a lovely new sister-in-law, and we may even have a nice (as in hair combed, everyone smiling) family photo worthy of a holiday card (though most people who really know us probably won’t believe it’s authentic…). That’s right you guys, this past week (plus) was epic. Add in a 4-day weekend and, well, it’s time for a Lessons post…

Lesson #1: I’m thinking—hoping—that Little had at least one half of the equation wrong when he told me, “The Spanish teacher was drinking beer at recess…and I know why.” I think I do too. Why? “Because it was pajama day.”

Lesson #2: While the 3rd graders had the decency to seem interested while I gave them my tips for starting their own blogs (which is the best class project ever if you ask me), Little, who was also listening in, gave it to me straight, “I don’t even get why someone would blog. Typity, type, type, type. Boorrr-inngg!”

Lesson #3: Living in our house is pretty much the equivalent of staying at a high-end resort. If I close my eyes, I can pretend it’s a massage therapist, not my 3-year old, waiting right outside my shower with lotion-filled hands and my deodorant. And a game of “Rats” (oh yes, it’s here to stay) is pretty much the same as turn-down service. In fact, I’m pretty sure I even stumbled upon a piece of chocolate on my pillow the other day.

Lesson #4: Never underestimate the power of a good hair day. When we were practicing Pink’s ‘do’ for my brother’s wedding, I showed her the finished product and she exclaimed, “I’m fired up!” For what, you might ask? “For this day!”

Lesson #5: After hearing my brother’s vows, the secret is out. He’s the real writer in our family.

Lesson #6: We all have problems we do our best to ignore, but we just can’t brush them under the rug anymore once someone calls us out. And, as was confirmed by multiple concerned wedding guests, our kids are raging bathroomaholics.

Lesson #7: One dance floor + one photo booth + lots of people telling you you look beautiful = one little girl begging to go to her uncle’s wedding again this week.

Lesson #8: What do the boys do when they finally have a day off of school? They spend the morning making alphabet and number charts to hang in Pink’s room. Then they spend the rest of the day pointing to outrageously inappropriate numbers for a 3-year old to know, like 53, and getting mad at her for proudly shouting, “Um…18!” because, “C’mon, Pink…you know this one!” Um, no. No she doesn’t…yet.

Lesson #9: It doesn’t take a tiger mom to raise a tiger child (though tiger cub brothers seem to be helping in this case). Pink’s spent the last week begging me to quiz her on numbers and letter sounds all day. I guess she’s gearing up, knowing her brothers will be home soon for Thanksgiving break.

Lesson #10: While I’m a bit perturbed that someone decided to graffiti a sound wall near our house, I can’t help but appreciate the striking resemblance to one of my favorites, Perry the Platypus. (See? The art programs in our local schools really are paying off.)

Lesson #11: I’m pretty sure that I lost all credibility when I pulled out a One Direction notepad to jot down a few ideas in the middle of a professional meeting.

Lesson #12: Our kids are a marketer’s dream. Not only does Big memorize taglines—and quote them where contextually appropriate (without any sense of irony), now Little has started memorizing 1-800 numbers and asking if he can call them.

Lesson #13: While it took 48 pricks on his back to nail down some of Big’s allergy problems, it was much easier to figure out my own. I’m allergic to cleaning my room, and have been a disaster since my somewhat-failed attempt yesterday. See if I try that nonsense again!

Lesson #14: There’s nothing like the relief (and pride) that comes from realizing that when your son asks for “the fox song”, he’s now referring to the new Taylor Swift album.

Here’s to celebrating with family—new and old, to shutting down the dance floor with your spunky grandmother, to the beginning of a beautiful marriage, and to…oh, sorry, gotta run. Pink needs to go to the bathroom.