basketball leagues holidays are in full swing around here. How can you tell? Well, first of all, my holiday cards have been sitting in a box in the living room for almost a week. (I might even get them out before Christmas Eve this year.) But mostly because my list of mishaps is just about as long as Little’s wish list. Since it’s not all about me, though, I tried to share the love by highlighting all of the hilarious characters around here…
Lesson #1: How can you not adore a kid who wants nothing but a real live elf for his birthday?
Lesson #2: I’m pretty sure our Holiday Family Foosball Tournament was rigged from the start, but I could tell I gave my nephew a real scare when I scored once…for him. Next year I’m changing things up. We’re going to have a photo contest. And the rules are, if you complain, roll your eyes, or make fun of me when I take your picture, you lose. Oh yes, that coveted, glammed-up sparkling cider bottle of a trophy my creative niece came up with is going to be mine…all mine.
Lesson #3: Foosball Tournament aside, anyone’s kid can get a trophy these days. But winning a kindergarten burping contest? Well that takes raw talent. (And practice—which isn’t easy when your pesky mother is trying to drill home the whole “manners” thing.)
Lesson #4: When you pretend to speak Spanish, but don’t do it as well as your little brother, you’re being rude to other languages. (It’s good to know he has some sort of limits.) But the question remains: When you pretend to write in cursive, and don’t do it as well as your big brother (or his keyboard), are you being rude to penmanship?
Lesson #5: If you really listen, six-year olds can teach you all kinds of amazing things. Like girls have pink germs and boys have green germs.
Lesson #6: Not everybody finds it as endearing as I do when Pink says, “I didn’t do nothing!” Not only is Big quick to correct her, he tells her she sounds like a gangster. I’m seriously considering letting him be the parent so I can be a kid again. Especially for Christmas.
Lesson #7: While our hydrangeas look like they’re sad to have been cut back for the season, Little’s favorite flip flop couldn’t be happier to have been freed from the bush it spent the last couple months hiding in.
Lesson #8: If Pink gets everything on her Christmas list, her doll is going to score big.
Lesson #9: It’s probably not your best bet to believe your three-year old when she says she desperately searched her room for her stuffed animal dog. Because when you go in and ask if she looked through the toy basket, she might just reply, “I came in my room and said, ‘Murph! Murph! Where are you? Come out!’ And he didn’t even come.”
Lesson #10: If your Christmas tree is a bit too tall for your living room, snipping off the top is a quick fix. If you snap the wooden Christmas tree stand before you even get the tree in the living room…well, the fix isn’t quite as quick. Or simple.
Oh yes, it really is a wonderful life. And I’m wishing each of you an oh-so colorful season—just not of the pink or green variety, of course.