A Good Old-Fashioned Holiday Letter

Remember back in the day when you’d get a stack of holiday cards and you’d be so excited to sit back and read all of the awkwardly folded, photocopied letters detailing the lives of people you hadn’t seen in years but were somewhat curious about? (All while rolling your eyes at all the typos and grammatical errors?) No, just me? Come on…that first part at least? The thing is, now we get to do that every day, and, well, I can’t help but feel a little scrooge-y toward Mark Zuckerberg this time of year for making the holiday update rather obsolete.

I know what you’re thinking… Who needs an update from a blogger who goes on and on about her life week after week, month after month? Weeeeellll, as you might have noticed, I didn’t do much writing here this year. It’s not that I didn’t want to — or mean to, even — it just didn’t happen. And, truth be told, the last time I started writing a post (for Little’s Thanksgiving birthday), a few paragraphs in I realized I was plagiarizing last year’s post. (Apparently the kid’s more predictable than I gave him credit for.)

So if you were the kind of person who loved getting those letters in the mail, find a cozy place on the couch in front of a fire and get reading this old-fashioned letter. And if you’re all about embracing how far we’ve come thanks to technology, enjoy the warmth of your laptop while you read this new-fashioned blog post…

 

Dear Friends,

While I hate to start off with a great big boastful statement, that’s kind of my thing and this is a holiday letter after all. Remember how my word for 2016 was “quiet” and I was only going to blog if I had something important to say? Well, based on the seven posts I published (two of which were for a website actually named Quiet Revolution), I’d say I nailed it. Perhaps that’s not quite as impressive as Big’s resolution to give up butter — which, by the way, he’s totally followed through on — but I’m four times his age, so you can’t expect me to have the same strength he does.

If math is your thing and you read 1/7^th of my posts this year, you’ll realize that means I turned 40 (which you may have already known if you read a different 1/7^th). Anyway, I’m finding I’m kind of rocking the old-lady wisdom more and more with each new gray hair. Here’s an example. You know how kids these days say “literally” all the time while actually meaning “figuratively”? It’s, like, literally insane, right? Well, I decided to nip this egregious error in the bud at my house while ALSO teaching my kids the oh-so-meaningful lyrics to one of the best rap songs of my generation. Ready for it? This year I ate so much I literally split my pants. But not to worry, a bit of wine (which may have been the root of this problem, come to think of it), and this fatso can still bust a move.

Speaking of moves, in June we hauled a bunch of boxes and some furniture into the house we’d been building for over a year. I know, a lot of you really hoped I’d blog about all the dirty details of that process. But, looking back, I think you should be kind of grateful I didn’t cover the topics I was obsessing over like: “How to chose a variety of knobs and pulls to suit your style but give your décor variety”, or “The best one-piece toilets that make having two sons a tiny bit less disgusting”, or “How to enhance your weekly lunches with your mother by alternating hammer and drill racket in the background”. Lenny and I are thrilled to be settling into the house we dreamed about, but it will be even nicer when the lovely people working here realize they’ve overstayed their welcome.

How are the boys you ask? Well, their 2016 stats are rather impressive. At 10 and 8 years old, they’re taking their gastrointestinal training very seriously and are averaging ten meals a day. With all of that focus on food intake, they have yet to learn where the glasses and water are, so I get my own workouts in by waiting on them at each of those meals. They’ve also each done their part to wittle away at the family deductible by scheduling skeletal photo shoots with the radiologist throughout the year. Little wins in this category though. He’s the one who made today — their first day off of school for the holiday season — officially Winter “Break”.

And Pink, the big kindergartener? Well, it was a sad December for those of us who adore her as we were forced to mourn the loss of her mispronunciation of “flamily”. The good news is, she’s still saying her prayers to “lice our Lord”. As the third child, she’s outrageously independent and delightful. Since I’m the oldest child in my family, and Lenny is the middle child in his family, we both see our personality traits in one of the boys. But Pink? All we see in her is the joy we never afforded our parents. (Sorry, folks.) Speak of the angel…she just walked in here to show me the tattoos she drew all over her body and the nail decals she applied all by herself. While we keep telling Big nobody in this house needs three parents, I’m thinking Pink could probably use one. Maybe Santa will deliver?

This year has brought us big wins (and even bigger shoes), tough anniversaries, a great deal of laughter, a few rocky roads, and so much gratitude. While I haven’t been writing here (or anywhere, for that matter) as often as I would have liked, I continue to be so thankful for those of you who read, comment, share, and enjoy it when I do. I recently realized how much I miss this part of me, and this connection with you. I don’t know what 2017 will bring, but I certainly hope it brings us together…virtually at least. (Plus that way I won’t worry about whether I have indecent holes in my clothes.)

Happy holidays to each and every one of you. May you find quiet reflection, uproarious laughter, and many moments of delight in the celebrations to come!

Love,
Amy