Some (Day After) Mother’s Day Card Ideas

Yesterday was a day for moms to take a load off (rather than throw a load in). It was a day for moms to be showered with love (and not worry about if the kids actually used soap). It was a day for kids everywhere to put their most adorable, loving foot forward (just not on the kitchen table). Today? Well, all bets are off.

Personally, I was very spoiled. More than I deserved to be (because, really, you should have heard me shouting at everyone last week…then again, you probably did). While their dad did some serious heavy lifting on their behalf, my kids also went big in the heartfelt, homemade awesomeness category.

Little made a sweet coaster for my wine (well, that’s what I plan to use it for, at least), and even Big’s 7th — yes 7th — grade Spanish teacher had him make me a special drawing/fill-in-the-blank poster. He got bonus points for being able to tell me half of what it said.

Pink, I mean she went all out. Not only did she give me a loving tribute she’d made at school — which included a video of her class singing a beautiful, tear-jerker of a tune, but she made me a couple of “extras”. One was a blank journal for me to write in. (I guess she’s noticed I haven’t blogged here in close to a year.) Another was a perfectly Pink original. It was a cool heart with pieces of paper to slip in with her mom-related highlights from each of the past few years.

In 2017, we went to Legoland and she got to ride her first roller coaster. (Aww.) In 2019, we went to Pajaro Dunes and had a great time together. (We did!) In 2018? Well. It wasn’t taking her to the Taylor Swift concert. Or saying “yes” 9 million and 38 times when I should have said “no”. Or cuddling on the couch or baking or swimming in the ocean together. Nope. It was (as pictured here):

Not giving our puppy to an animal shelter when Santa left her here on Christmas??? Because she thought I would??? (Ok, maybe she’s not that far off. A dog was never on my wish list.)

The thing about kids is that they’re not all about perfecting a phrase. They show their gratitude in very honest, and pretty hilarious terms. So I’ve come up with my own ideas for greeting cards kids might actually buy…or at least buy into. And yes, these are inspired by things my kids have actually said to me.

FRONT: I know you love me unconditionally.
INSIDE: Because every morning when you cuddle up to me and say, “I love you.” I reply with, “You smell gross.”

FRONT: Mom, I can’t stand to see you sad, mad…
INSIDE: or on my middle school campus.

FRONT: Your lap is so warm and cozy.
INSIDE: Probably because I just farted there.

FRONT: You always know just what I like.
INSIDE: Except at dinner time when you make all that disgusting stuff.

FRONT: Wanna know what I love about you?
INSIDE: Your tummy is squishy. Like a pillow.

FRONT: I honestly can’t imagine how you could do more for me.
INSIDE: Give me a minute, though. I’ll come up with something.

FRONT: Mom, you help me to see things more clearly.
INSIDE: Like when you *finally* got the car washed and there was hardly any bird poop on my window any more.

FRONT: You’ve taught me to never, ever give up.
INSIDE: And we have 7,638 horrible family photos to prove it.

FRONT: You always tell me there’s no limit to your love for me.
INSIDE: But if you saw the good stuff my friends get in *their* lunchboxes, I’m pretty sure you’d stop saying that.

FRONT: Roses are red, Violets are blue…
INSIDE: Wait, what are we having for dinner tonight?

FRONT: I know you’d travel thousands of miles just to make me happy.
INSIDE: That’s because I looked at your odometer this morning when you were putting on a sweatshirt over your pjs to drive me to school and I was honking the horn so you’d hurry up.

FRONT: It’s amazing how you know all the words to the songs that come on the radio when you’re driving me around.
INSIDE: Shhh…

FRONT: If I could make one wish for you this Mother’s Day,
INSIDE: It would be that you’d stop trying to make conversation with my friends when you’re driving carpool.

FRONT: When we say, “Jump!” You say, “How high?”
INSIDE: And because we believe in you, we say, “Higher!”

FRONT: You’ve taught me that I can do anything I believe in.
INSIDE: So, to save you some time and energy, I’ve created a list of things I DO NOT believe in:
making my bed
hanging up my towel
putting my clothes in the hamper
taking the cup out of my sliding shorts/belt out of my baseball pants
putting my shoes away
chores in general
eating over my plate
sitting still
using silverware all of the time
showering
quitting*
wearing matching clothes
wearing a jacket and/or pants
being kissed on the cheek**
healthy snacks
broccoli
turning the tv down
skipping dessert
follow through***
*This only applies to Fortnite — mid-game or right after I started a game you told me not to.
**By you.
***I probably forgot a bunch of stuff I’ll add later, but my friend just texted me, so…

FRONT: You know how you give me chores to remind me about responsibility and the value of hard work?
INSIDE: Samesies.

FRONT: There are some things only a mom can do.
INSIDE: So can you just go find my other cleat? We’re gonna be late for practice.

Have your kids said anything lately that belongs on a Using Our Words greeting card? Do tell.